Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Break Up & This Time It's REAL

Robert Pattinson and Kristen StewartIt's a sad, sad day, everyone!!!! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have really broken up, you guys!!!! No really. No REALLLY. Do you notice all the soggy tear marks over these sentences?!!! Do you notice all the exclamation points to try to convince you we really believe this latest bit of gossip, and that we're absolutely distraught?!!!! Okay so, no, it's probably just all bullshit again. Or a day that ends in "a-y." Yes, we know we all have a right to be skeptical. But we have to go with this, you know, because it's our duty to the entire Bella and Edward-loving world. We have to be positively wrecked by this news even though these two break up every other day and it doesn't surprise us in the least.

Yet there is one thing about this recent rumor that makes us wonder if this time, it's really, kinda, sorta true, and that's ....


... that People magazine is the one reporting. They tend to have a pretty reliable track record with these types of things. Not like the Enquirer or even Hollywood Life, whose headline on their daily RPattz/KStew post this morning reads:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart 'Won't Be Breaking Up Anytime Soon Despite Relationship Rut'

Oufff -- talk about opposites day. According to People, "the source" (yes, there appears to be only one) says the beginning of the end happened when Rob blew off Kristen for his 27th birthday party. She had planned a gathering with some friends, but Rob said he wanted to keep it low-key and just hang out with some guys. Slam.

The only question remains now is who did the deed. Did she tell him to eff off after such a major diss or did he passive aggressively pull that stunt because he knew it would cause a big fight, making the split up mutual?

Oops ... there we go speculating on details of something that probably isn't real in the first place again. Even the People headline contains the phrase "-- For Now" ... in it. It's the game, gotta play it.

Honestly, we just can't imagine a world without these two together so they can constantly break up. Things just wouldn't feel right anymore, which is why we pray this news isn't true so we can continue to keep guessing.

Nevertheless, now might be a good time to stop and meditate on this heavy bit of news and try to figure out what it all means. But don't try all that hard, everyone, for tomorrow is a brand new day.

Do you believe this latest rumor?


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