Ashton Kutcher Admits His Movies Are No Good & He's Marginally Less Annoying for It

Ashton KutcherI try not to snark on every celebrity I write about here at The Stir, but I admit I haven't missed many opportunities to rip on Ashton Kutcher. It's just -- I really don't like the guy. I think he's a crappy actor who only clawed his way out of MTV-trucker-hat-level fame by attaching himself to Demi Moore's toned A-lister rear end. And then he humiliated her by splashing his philandering douchebucket ways all over the tabloids. And then he somehow scored that Two and a Half Men gig where he gets paid, like, the equivalent of the U.S. national debt for each episode. UGH.

However, I might dislike him a tiny bit less now that he's publicly confessed something we all knew, but assumed he never admitted to himself: Ashton Kutcher's movies are reeking piles of cinematic garbage. 


All right, FINE, that's not exactly what he said, but close enough. In an interview with Esquire magazine, he says he's aware that some of his movies are completely terrible:

I know exactly what films I’ve done that f**king suck donkey. And I know the ones that are good, that people like.

Oh Ashton, whatever could you be talking about? With an acting resume that includes such lauded works as Dude, Where's My Car?, My Boss's Daughter, and Guess Who, which movies could possibly suck?

I'd give him points for being self-aware, but he goes on to say that the reason he knows his IMDB list has some duds in it is because his buddies told him so:

I know it not because of the box office, because the box office is not going to tell you the truth - I know it because I have friends that don’t hold back. They don’t depend on me for money or employment. They’re just friends. Friends tell the truth. I know who these people are in my life. Partners, friends, coworkers. You have a movie and you show it to them, and if it sucks you want them to be like, ‘Dude, that kind of blows.’

Orrrrr you could maybe read the script ahead of time and preemptively choose better projects, but I'm sure this is how Meryl Streep does it.

At any rate, the early reviews for Kutcher's Steve Jobs biopic jOBS are pretty complimentary about his performance (if not the film as a whole), so maybe he's finally on track to leave his most embarrassing roles in the dust. Hopefully he can enlist a friend or two to help advise him against both blowing and sucking in the future.

What's your take on Ashton Kutcher's career thus far? Are you a fan?

Image via 20th Century Fox

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