Gwyneth Paltrow Bans Cameron Diaz From Sex ... Because That’s What Know-It-All Gwynnie Does

gwyneth paltrowRemember back when Beyonce was still pregnant with Blue Ivy and Gwyneth Paltrow practically smothered her to death with Goop-y goodwill? Drink wheatgrass! Meditate! Soak your feet in ice water!! And Beyonce was all, Thanks, but I'll stick with pickles and Oreos. Well, word has it Gwynnie has found yet another celeb in desperate need of her wisdom -- only this time the topic isn't "How to Have a Perfect Pregnancy," it's "How to Have an Organic, Enlightened Midlife Crisis." Or something to that effect.

Who's in crisis? None other than Cameron Diaz, who apparently is having some issues with settling down since she turned 40 and broke up with Alex Rodriguez and hooked up with P. Diddy (possibly). Those "issues" being that Diaz still parties like a swinging single when Paltrow knows she would be soooo much happier and more fulfilled if she settled down with a nice Brit and had babies and found a good fishmonger.


That's why Gwynnie's taking charge. Making changes. Big, weird, and most likely unwelcome changes ...

Okay, to be fair, some of Paltrow's advice sounds reasonable and constructive. Like, it's sort of irritating and bossy that she set Diaz up with her own personal trainer, but at least it's a positive, healthy development. As for Paltrow supposedly getting Cameron's finances in order, well, I'm not quite sure how I feel about that one. Of course, I'm not entirely sure HOW Paltrow is managing her friend's money -- it would be one thing if she recommended a good financial consultant, it would be quite another if she buried it all in a box under a temple in Tibet for good luck -- but still, friends and money don't generally mix well. 

BUT the last part, that's the one that really gets me (and it's gonna get you too!), is that Paltrow banned Diaz from having sex for one entire year, saying "men distract her focus."

DUDE. Overbearing much?!?! For Pete's sake, Cameron Diaz isn't joining a convent. She just wants to get married and have babies.

In my opinion, Gwyneth needs to find a REAL cause. Maybe she could follow in Angelina Jolie's footsteps and do something to help suffering non-celebs, like Syrian refugees. People who have a lot more to worry about than soaking their feet in ice water or finding a personal trainer.

Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow should back off?


Image via WEBN-TV/Flickr

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