Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Aren't Attending the People's Choice Awards & We Know Why

Kristen Stewart Robert PattinsonSo tomorrow night's the night where WE THE PEOPLE finally get to have our say -- it's the People's Choice Awards, of course! However, if you're only tuning in hoping for a glimpse of your favorite formerly known as vampires couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, um, think again. There is absolutely NO WAY these two are going to be caught dead at this awards show. NO WAY. Wanna know why? 

Well, it's not because Kristen wasn't nominated. Because she was! (It might very well be because Robert Pattinson wasn't. Because he wasn't. And he's probably all "Eff that awards show that didn't love how I shot my own hand in Cosmopolis.") Kristen, on the other hand, got three nominations. Snow White & the Huntsman is up for Favorite Movie, and Kristen herself is up for the Favorite Face of Heroism and for Favorite On-Screen Chemistry with director Rupert Sanders co-star Chris Hemsworth for her performance in Snow White.

See the problem now? 


Here's a hint: It starts with Snow White and ends with some gnarly memories of a certain someone lip smashing in the front seat of a car with her married director. Yes, that happened and they've clearly moved on, but that doesn't mean the wounds aren't just as painful today.

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While Robert Pattinson is probably a little bit mad no one recognized his amazing hand-shooting scene and a lot a bit mad that he didn't even get one measly sympathy vote (SHE cheated on ME, people! Where is the love?!!), he probably got the PCA invitation in the mail and was like, “I WILL HAVE NO PART IN ANYTHING ABOUT THAT FRICKIN’ GODDAMN SNOW &$%@-ing WHITE MOVIE!!!”

And Kristen's like, "Okay, Rooooob. I got it!" while secretly wiping sweat from her brow because can you imagine her acceptance speech? "You guyssssss, thank you for choosing me. Shucks, that's so totally awesome. And I'd really like to thank my director for trusting me in this role and helping me look hecka cool and badass and for making me feel more like a woman that one sunny day in that car than Robward ever did in that flowery meadow in Twilight, ok? I mean, did you see those vampire sex scenes? Puh-lease."

Yikes. Not good. Not good at all. It's really best that neither one of them is attending. It would be way too awkward for Rob and for Kristen and, heck, for us too. As much as we love seeing this duo out canoodling on the red carpet, no one wants to see that awkward mess!

Why do you think Rob and Kristen are skipping out on the People's Choice Awards tonight?


Image via SplashNews

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