Lindsay Lohan's Publicist Resigns Because, Hello, Worst Job Ever

Lindsay LohanThere comes a time in every entertainment writer's career when they're forced to report on a story that's so heartbreaking, so unexpected, so thoroughly and utterly shocking, it's almost impossible to find the words. It is with a heavy heart today that I sit in front of this laptop and struggle for the inner strength to share the news that started in Hollywood but has come to grip the nation. United in our grief, all we can do in the face of such a shattering event is ask why. Why would a heartless god allow this to happen?

I'm talking, of course, about the announcement that Lindsay Lohan's trusted publicist has finally dumped her.

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After what was surely a hideous year and a half of serving as Lohan's rep, publicist Steve Honig has officially called it quits. When pressed for an explanation as for why he's resigning NOW after somehow weathering Lindsay's various shenanigans over the last 18 months, including treatment for "exhaustion," a hit-and-run, a jewelry theft case, a bizarre hotel room assault, a crazy public tantrum, a domestic dispute with her mom, an intervention, rumors that she's hiding cash payments from appearances, and probably a billion other things I can't think of right now, Honig said, "LOOK THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH ONE PUBLIC RELATIONS MAN CAN TAKE I MEAN JESUS CHRIST I LITERALLY HAVE FIFTY-SEVEN ULCERS."

I'm just kidding. Actually, he had a very PR-friendly statement:

I'm not discussing this out of respect for my client.

Honig was a little more forthcoming with TMZ, however, in response to rumors that he quit over tension with Lindsay's dad:

Michael wishes he were that important.

I'd like to wish Mr. Honig well in his newly peaceful career, but, well, he's still repping Courtney Love. Hope he's got a decent stash of Maalox.

Are you surprised at all to hear that Lindsay's publicist has finally kicked her to the curb?


Image via Twitter

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