Stephen Colbert Offers Donald Trump a Million to Dip WHAT in His Mouth? (VIDEO)

StepheYou heard about the "gigantic bombshell" that Donald Trump was threatening to drop about President Obama, right? He promised that it was so big, such a game-changer, it "could swing the election," and people wondered if it was possible that the real estate mogul/professional loudmouth actually had some dirt on the Prez. As it turned it, it was a fairly deranged offer -- delivered via YouTube from The Donald himself -- of $5 million for Obama to reveal his college transcripts and passport application.

While Obama has publicly laughed off Trump's cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs cry for attention, one man has officially stepped up to the plate and announced a counteroffer that I hope Trump can't refuse. That man, of course, is Stephen Colbert from The Colbert Report, and I promise you're going to want to hear what he's putting on the table for a cool million.

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On Wednesday night, Colbert dedicated a portion of his show to addressing Donald Trump's challenge to President Barack Obama. First he snarked on Trump's deadline of 5:00 p.m. on October 31, saying,

(Trump) has to have it by five o’clock on Halloween, because that night he’s renting out his enormous orange head as a jack-o’-lantern.

Colbert didn't stop there, though. He went on to say that he was so moved by Trump's generous offer, he had an offer of his own. Not only did Colbert reach, ah, deep into his pockets for this million-dollar challenge, he put a rather, um, flavorful spin on the whole teabagger/Tea Party movement.

Here's what he had to say:

Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I have an offer of my own, right over here. Mr. Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million from Colbert super PAC - you know I’ve got it - to the charity of your choice, anything, save the children, feed the children, put the children on "Child Apprentice," whatever. One million actual dollars if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth.

But, but, but, this dipping - and I hope you're listening very carefully, Mr. Trump - this dipping has to be to my, and more important, my balls' satisfaction. One caveat, my balls must be in your mouth no later than 5:00 p.m. Oct. 31. My balls have a thing that night.

Nothing would make me happier than to write this check. And nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth instead of coming out of it.

MY BALLS' SATISFACTION. Oh Stephen Colbert, I love you so. Here's the (possibly NSFW, depending on how your workplace feels about balls and their proximity to Donald Trump's lips) video:


How hilariously obnoxious is this offer from Stephen Colbert?


Images via Colbert Nation

 

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