Kate Middleton’s Naked Photos Are Crushing Pippa’s Book Tour Dreams

pippa middletonAs a younger sister, and as an older sister (that means I'm the middle of three girls for all you who haven't had your 14th cup of coffee yet), I can both relate to and totally pick on Pippa Middleton. She's the Jan to Kate Middleton's Marsha, and let's face it, everyone knows it. Poor Pips will never, and perhaps legally, I don't know the Palace rules, isn't allowed to ever outshine her older sister. It's a real shame, too, because Pippa was about to embark on a book tour to promote her how-to-throw-a-party tome Celebrate and even had offers to sit down with American royalty, Oprah, Ellen, and Anderson Cooper, but, alas, Marsha I mean Kate won't let her. Womp womp. Here's the deal:


An insider told the New York Daily News that the royals don't want Pippa promoting her book because the press will undoubtedly ask her about Kate's topless and bottomless paparazzi pics, and they don't want Pippa to bring more attention to the "scandal" by acknowledging it with an answer.

One minute you're really proud of the hard work you put into your book about parties, the next your sister is killing all your dreams of actually selling it because she took her top off. Marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!

Pip's publisher, Viking, has even come out and said that the author will not be available for interviews. What they failed to mention, though, is that she won't be accessible because she'll be in her tower, crying, watching Brady Bunch reruns and, fine, yeah, a lot of Law & Order: SVU, so sue her.

Not only am I sad for Pippa, but I'm sad for me. For us. For we who wanted to see the younger Miss Middleton sit on Oprah's couch and dish about parties. It sounds divine, doesn't it?

Thanks for ruining everything with your boobs, Kate, geez.

Do you think Pippa should've canceled her book tour?


Photo via ozziebackpacker/Flickr

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