Snoop Dogg Shares 10 Vulgar (But Kinda True) Reasons Not to Vote Romney

snoop doggHey America, a guy who tweets as @DragonflyJonez wrote up a top 10 list for why he is not voting for Romney and famous rapper Snoop Dogg re-Tweeted it. For a while the list was being treated as Snoop's own, but apparently this was more just an endorsement. Snoop wishes he'd written it. 

At first glance it's incredibly vulgar, silly, and some might even say racist. We know this list is going to offend some of you. Maybe you can't even believe we would give it any amount of time or attention. (You must be new here. Welcome!) We know you'll leave your outraged comment below. But on closer examination, the list (and his pro-Obama list) taps into some deep emotional truths about this election, which I think are worth exploring.

Cleaned up and filtered (you're welcome) this list says what at least some of us are really thinking -- if we're being honest with ourselves.


Why I'm Not Voting for Romney:

1. He a white n*****. = I don't believe he, as a relatively privileged white man, understands the particular challenges of the African-American community, not that we're a completely homogenized group of people.

2. This muthaf***er's name is Mitt. = Romney's privilege runs so deep even his very name evokes it.

3. Bitch got a dancing horse. = I just do not understand people who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on horses. How can someone like that possibly understand my life and the challenges I face?

4. He a ho. = I get the impression that Mitt can be bought and that all his professed ideas and values are fake.

5. He looks like he says n***** all the time. = I'm sensing some latent racism within Romney.

6. This muthaf***er's name is Mitt. = See above. My incredulity is such that I needed to repeat this idea.

7. He always interrupts and talks over people like he's better than them. Bitch I will beat the shit out of you. = He's aggressive and inconsiderate in speech and manner. I do not like that. It makes me feel angry.

8. He's Mormon but he ain't go no hos. = Romney's Mormon background is still a mystery to me. Maybe if he'd just talk about it we would understand him and his religion better.

9. He reminds me of every boss I ever hated. = He comes across as condescending, arrogant, and generally clueless.

10. This muthaf***er's name is Mitt. = See above. I really do not like that name.

Why I'm Voting for Obama

1. He a black n*****. = It is exciting to me personally, and historically, that we have elected a black man as president.

2. He mad cool yo! = I like his personal style and his calm, controlled way of speaking and acting.

3. That n***** look like he can fight. = Could this person who looks like he could fight please show up for a presidential debate?

4. He wears a du rag like me. = This is pure speculation based on a close-up of Obama's hair showing he has the kind of waves you'd get from wearing a du rag at night. But whatever, the point is he's proud of being a black man.

5. Michelle got a fat ass. = o__o  

6. He's BFFs with Jay-Z. = Having the imprimatur of another successful black man makes a big impression on me.

7. He's hugged Beyonce before and sniffed her neck. = Totally irrelevant but I bet Beyonce's neck does smell nice.

8. We use the same hair clippers. = I find Obama relatable.

9. He smokes Newports. = Obama doesn't front like he's perfect. He's human, just like the rest of us. And I appreciate that at least he chooses a cigarette brand with some history within the African American community even if it is a brand that has exploited us and weakened us physically.

10. I seen that n***** hoop before and he got a jumper. = I feel like Obama still has the vitality, strength, and agility to lead our nation through these troubled times.

What did you think of these Snoop Dogg-endorsed top 10 lists?


Image via Man Alive!/Flickr

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