Kristen Stewart Wants a Wedding, Robert Pattinson Wants a Drink

kristen stewart robert pattinsonRight now, Robert Pattinson is into "booze and Buddhism". And who can blame him? Aren't we all after getting royally effed over by the person we thought was our one true love? And conversely, as we speak, Kristen Stewart is deciding whether or not she should put Nikki Reed and Charlize Theron at the same table at her and Rob's upcoming wedding, because she wants to lock that shit dowwwnnn. And who can blame her? When you get the person you love back after cheating on them, you overcompensate.

This is probably all very confusing and annoying to you right now, as I'm speaking in cryptic, teasing sentences. So let's have a nice, civilized chat, where we break it down, after the jump.

Last one there's a rotten egg!


Kennedy, a Los Angeles radio host, or as I know her, a '90s MTV veejay, was at an exclusive Black Keys concert recently, where, obviously, Rob was, also. The two apparently struck up a conversation where a solid hour was spent discussing the benefits of "Buddhism and booze" when you're trying to mend a broken heart. Kennedy posted a photo of herself and Rob to her Facebook page with the caption: "Next thing you’re going to tell me Robert Pattinson was [at the concert], and we spent an hour talking about booze and Buddhism. Oh, wait ..."

Meanwhile, across town ...

Hollywood Life is claiming that, as of now, Kristen so thrilled to have Rob back that she "would absolutely want to get engaged soon, maybe even elope this winter."

Sounds like these two lovehate birds are in completely different places emotionally right now. On one hand we have Rob, zen and cautious, trying to wrap his head around the fact that, holy shit, he took Kristen back! And on the other, we have Kristen, desperate and excited, trying to wrap her head around the fact that, holy shit, Rob took her back!

This is a good thing.

Even if Kristen and Rob are meant to eventually die in each other's arms, fingers entwined, hearts beating as one, they should not get married right now. They're fresh off of a serious "relationship issue" that is no way yet healed.

So, Rob, take Kristen back if you love her and want to work it out. But, please, keep your third eye on the booze and Buddhism right now. You don't want to do anything stupid.

What do you think of this?

Image via accidentalpaparazzi/Flickr

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