If Tom Cruise Quits Scientology, He'll Need a New Religion

tom cruiseThat's Tom Cruise in the corner. That's Tom Cruise in the spot. Light. Losing his religion. Yes, according to an "inside source," Tom Cruise might be quitting Scientology!!! I don't know about you, but I definitely didn't see this one coming. Still, the rumored reason for Cruise's crisis of faith makes sense: The source says Cruise is "finally seeing that being such an advocate for Scientology hasn’t served him as well as he’d hoped -- he’s gone through three divorces, and his public perception has sunk to an all-time low.” My Xenu, my Xenu, why hast thou forsaken me?

Anyway, Tom apparently hasn't officially decided to stop drinking the kool-aid leave his church just yet, which is understandable -- after all, the man did devote years and years of his life to the crazy cult institution. But if he DOES, we can only assume he'll be searching for something (new) to believe in ...

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Lucky for Tom, there's no lack of religions out there. Here are a few faiths that might work for him:

1. Catholicism Hey, if he's ever gonna win Katie back, this would be the way to do it. Plus, he'd fit right in with all the other guys who like to pretend they're straight wear black.

2. Buddhism Cruise was all about giving mad props to eastern religion back when he made The Last Samurai -- he even called Buddhism "the grandfather of Scientology." Also I heard Little Buddha with Keanu Reeves is his all-time favorite flick. (Okay, I made that part up.)

3. Hinduism Cause we know Cruise is down with the whole arranged marriage thing ... just saying!

4. Judaism With all his experience jumping on couches, he'd probably dance the Hora like a pro. You know, couches and chairs, jumping and dancing ... sorta the same thing.

5. Jehovah's Witness Can't you just picture Tom Cruise showing up on your doorstep with a Bible and that big sparkly grin? He was born for that gig!

Which religion do you think Tom Cruise should try if he quits Scientology?

 

Image via Sujin Kim/Flickr

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