Honey Boo Boo’s Guide to Everything You Need to Know in Life (PHOTOS)

Ericka Sóuter | Sep 25, 2012 Celebrities
Honey Boo Boo’s Guide to Everything You Need to Know in Life (PHOTOS)

honey boo boo castForget Oprah and Dr. Phil. You want to know the secret to a better life, tune in to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Yes folks, you better "Redneckognize!" Pint-size pageant queen Alana, her momma June, and sisters Chickadee, Pumpkin, and Chubbs have all the answers you've been searching for. I kid you not.

You've let yourself go? Just follow Momma's mantra: "I ain't the most beautimos out the box, but a little paint on this barn, shine it back to its original condition. Cause it shines up like it's brand new."

The state of the economy? "A dollar make me holla," sings Alana. All 99-Percenters would certainly agree! And who can deny the superiority of the Redneck Games? "It's all about Southern pride, similar to the Olympics, but with a lot of missing teeth and a lot of butt crack showing," informs June. No need to worry about wardrobe malfunctions there!

This family kicks some serious knowledge. Check out Honey Boo Boo's guide to life

 

Image via TLC

  • Sex education: Call it like you see it

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    Image via TLC

    No need for those fancy doctor words.

    “It’s called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit." -- Momma, on the family’s nickname for lady parts

  • The slimming secret the world has been waiting for!

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    "My mother has told me in the past that if you fart 12-15 times a day, you could lose a lot of weight, so I think I'm gonna lose a lot of weight." -- Chubbs, on losing weight

  • Fashion: Beware the Vajiggle

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    It’s about being a role model, not roll model ladies!

    "Please, women that are of voluptuous size, put some clothes on ... All that vajiggle jaggle is not beauteous." -- Momma

  • Emily Post who?

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    Image via TLC

    "No one can be proper and etiquettely all the time." -- Momma

  • To hell with those puritanical gender roles!

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    Image via TLC

    In Honey Boo Boo's world, even animals are free to be whomever they want to be. No judgements!

    "We're gunna make it a girl pig, so he's going to be a little gay." -- Alana, on giving her male pig the name Glitzy and putting him in dresses and a tiara

  • Speak your mind at all times

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    Image via TLC

    Never let a little thing like food ruin a good conversation.

    "If I don't talk with my mouth full, when'm I gonna talk?" -- Alana

  • Get eco-conscious, y'all

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    Image via TLC

     

     

    When it gets hot, don't flick on the AC.

    "This is what we call a redneck air conditioner. It keeps you cool, it keeps you wet, wet t-shirt contest all in one." -- Momma, on beating the heat with a sopping wet towel

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