Chris Brown Tests Positive for Pot & Gets Away With It Because He's Famous

Chris BrownI sort of swore off Chris Brown stories after he got that ridiculous tattoo earlier this month, but it seems like every time I decide I am done with a celebrity -- like, there is NOTHING ELSE THEY CAN DO that could possibly make me care whether or not they're crazy or misunderstood or just kind of a waste of the planet's natural resources -- something pops up in the news and there I am reading about it, because WTF did that douchenozzle do now?

See also: Chris Brown testing positive for marijuana during a recent drug screening. Look, it's not that I'm surprised Chris Brown doesn't necessarily adhere to a squeaky-clean lifestyle where his drug of choice is an extra shot of wheatgrass in his power smoothie -- it's that his pot-smoking didn't even affect his probation. Because the probation requirements were "somewhat cryptic” on the topic of ILLEGAL DRUGS.

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Oh, excuse me: LEGAL drugs. Apparently Brown managed to produce a medicinal marijuana prescription from California, which is totally understandable since we all know he suffers from chronic pain that means he can benefit from compassionate medical cannabis and oh my god whatever.

All right, so he got a shady doctor to give him a scrip for weed, fine. But my favorite part is how the judge mused things over and decided that she'd never specifically told him he might be tested for drugs during his five years of supervised probation he got after pleading guilty to felony assault on Rihanna in 2009.

Frankly, I'm not really sure what this probation is actually FOR. He certainly doesn't get punished for breaking windows or getting in bar brawls, and I guess getting high is acceptable as long as a judge forgot to tell him that it's not allowed?

Anyway, Brown heads back to court on November 1 for a hearing on whether he violated his probation with some other alleged breaches, like circumventing travel restrictions and not completing his community service, but something tells me he'll be just fine.

Plus, he's got his once-beaten, now-devoted guardian angel on his side. As Rihanna tweeted the day of his hearing,

@chrisbrown I'm praying for you and wishing u the best today

No need, Rihanna! He's a celebrity.

Do you think a regular person on probation would have been busted for testing positive for drugs?


Image via evarinaldiphotography/Flickr

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