5 Birthday Wishes Prince Harry Must Be Making Today (VIDEO)

prince harryToday Prince Harry celebrates his 28th birthday. I know -- I thought the same thing -- how on earth is he 28 already -- right?

That boy has done enough in the last couple of months to last an entire year. Thankfully, we can be sure that there won't be too much partying today, since he is stationed in Afghanistan, but there may be a candle to blow out -- and with that -- plenty of room for birthday wishes. And honestly, Harry could use these this year!

Five things I'm betting hoping Prince Harry wishes for on his birthday today...

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1. I wish I could just keep it in my pants.

Awwww... Vegas. If only he could have banned anyone with a camera from any spot where he was partying! Oh ... and made everyone near him sign non-disclosure agreements so they couldn't provide salacious details.

2. Can the Queen please get off my back!

You see the Queen is so frustrated by his recent actions in Vegas that she's apparently demanding Prince Harry prove he is 100% royalty. As in -- confirm his mom didn't conceive him through an affair. It looks like a DNA test to prove himself a blood monarch might be coming soon.

3. My fellow comrades -- please stop supporting me -- you are making it worse!

In honor of his Vegas photos -- supporters all over the world are dropping their pants in his honor. While this is absolutely hilarious, it certainly isn't helping him in any way. Though, based on what I've read of him, he must love the creativity in which his "fans" are cheering him on.

4. DO NOT LET this sex tape get out.

Okay -- that's assuming there really is a sex tape. Which there may not be. But if there is one ... you can sure as hell bet that this would be one of his wishes! And it seems the Royal family might be willing to pay as much as 10 million dollars to keep it under wraps! 

5. I wish the Taliban would stop picking on me.

This guy seriously can never catch a break. He's back on duty in Afghanistan and the Taliban are, supposedly, specifically targeting him. Apparently they've even given it a name, "Harry Operations," and say they are going to make attempts to either kidnap or assassinate him. WTF??

What do you think he is wishing for today?

Image via PopSugar/5MinuteMedia

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