Maybe Lindsay Lohan Really Is a Jewelry Theft Kingpin

lindsay lohan carSo this is a fairly disturbing idea, but I think maybe we've all been under-estimating Lindsay Lohan. Maybe, just maybe, that whole troubled starlet/damaged party girl/horrible driver thing she's been working for so long has been nothing more than a clever ruse. A masterful disguise. A convoluted plot, all to cover up her true identity as a criminal mastermind. An evil genius on a fiendish quest for ... dalmatian puppies!!

Wait, no. Sorry, I got LiLo mixed up with Cruella de Vil for a second there! (You've got to admit the resemblance is eerie.) I meant to say, an evil genius on a fiendish quest for ... stolen jewels! Bwahahahaha!

Seriously. Over the weekend, Lohan reportedly went to a party in the Hollywood Hills. She spent the night (at least she didn't try to drive herself home, cripes). Then the next morning when all the party people in the house said "oh yeah," guess what happened?


The home owner/host of the party noticed that a bunch of his uber-expensive jewelry had been stolen! Or so he claimed. He also claimed that two of the dudes Lohan brought with her to the party were the thieves! (No word on how many dudes Lohan brought with her to the party in total.)

Anyway, Lohan says she had nothing to do with the robbery, and police haven't named her as a suspect. But really? ANOTHER jewelry theft?! No way this was a coincidence. I say the 26-year-old actress is running a major operation here, and the past couple of years are chock full of evidence, starting with:

1. The infamous $2,500 necklace theft that got LiLo 120 days in the hole (not that she actually spent 120 days in the hole, but still).

2. The reckless, erratic driving. Speedy getaways gone wrong, clearly!

3. The repeat episodes of "exhaustion." Fair enough. Being a cat burglar/crime ring leader would tire a gal right out.

4. The random diva tantrums. Of course! It's gotta be pretty high-stress, living a double life (especially with the paparazzi following you around all the time). Sometimes Lindsay just snaps under the pressure. Wouldn't you?!

Oh Lindsay. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. I always thought you'd end up on Celebrity Rehab, but now I know you're destined for ... Mob Wives!

Do you think Lindsay Lohan stole the jewelry from that party?


Image via Splash

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