'True Blood' Recap: Jason Is Smart & Bill Is a Scientologist?! (VIDEO)

jason jessicaUm, anybody else out there in Truebie land confused-ish? Tonight's episode of True Blood -- "Gone, Gone, Gone" -- was full of ... surprising moments, let's say. Except they were more than surprising moments, they were more like ... WHAAAA??!! Where the hell did that come from?! 'Cause ain't nobody up in here saw that sh*t coming! (moments). Like, let's start with Jason. First he showed his humanity -- meaning, his kindness and compassion and (gulp!) conscience! Then he did something ... smart. Not street smart, intelligent smart. I KNOW!!

Then there was Eric's sudden "change of heart," which, personally, I think is an act. Nay, I know it to be so! Because ain't no way he's falling for Bill's crap (who, by the way, seems to be channelling Tom Cruise at his craziest these days. Hmm, could the Sanguinista movement be a jab at Scientology?).

Anyway ... SPOILER ALERT ...

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Even though it was awesome that Jason went along with the whole "glamouring Hoyt" thing AND that he figured out what Gran really meant about Sookie "sleeping on" the big important clue, I would have to say the biggest shocker of the night was finding out that Sookie and Jason's great-great-great-great-great (all the way back to 1702 or something) grandfather signed her away to Warlowe (whoever the hell he is).

That's just not cool. What kind of spineless loser was this ancestor, to sign the first Stackhouse faerie away to some Freddy Krueger-esque vampire?

As Tara might say, "I don't know nothin' bout birthin' no baby vampires!" (Okay, that's actually not relevant at all, but it was the BEST line of the night.)

What surprised you the most on tonight's episode of True Blood?


Image via HBO

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