'True Blood' Recap: Full Frontal Fail & Bill Continues to SUCK (VIDEO)

eric and billOmg, Truebies. Like a (not even remotely) great man once mumbled, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... uh ... won't get fooled again?" Anyway, ex-presidential embarrassing moments aside, tonight's episode of True Blood left me feeling full-on hoodwinked! Remember all those super-juicy spoilers we got at the beginning of the season? That tantalizing tease about male full frontal nudity? (Just in case you forgot, it involved a "a male prisoner displaying full frontal nudity while in a dire situation." And then the whole dragon rumor? (As in, a dragon of the fire-breathing variety showing up in Bon Temps as the supernatural du Season 5?)

Well, both of those prophecies came true, sort of, tonight. But not at all in the way I expected/hoped!! (Needless to say, don't go any further if you don't want to know exactly what I'm talking about!)


Okay, seriously?! We got our "male prisoner displaying full frontal nudity while in a dire situation" in the first, oh, 30 seconds of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." But he was just some random human about to be devoured by Salome & Co.! Really?! As if we care about some bloodbag's junk. That was a mean trick! (Although, there is still hope, as the original spoiler referenced Episode 11 and tonight was only Episode 9. But still!)

Oh, and as for the "dragon" thing? Forget fire-breathing mythical beast. Just for-get it. Try a Ku Klux Klan-style "grand dragon," and an uber-bitter zaftig dragoness (a.k.a. the "love of ex-Sheriff Bud Dearborne's life").

Yeah. See why I feel hoodwinked?!

Anyway. There were some decent surprises tonight, most specifically Mr. Bill Compton's complete and total betrayal of Eric Northman (not to mention Sookie and everybody else that spineless bloodsucker "cares" about). Do I even need to say it? Okay, fine: TEAM ERIC. TEAM ERIC. TEAM EFFING ERIC!

Check out this clip and you'll see what I'm talking about:

And that's just the tip of the freakin' iceberg, baby! (Pretend Lafayette said that.)

What surprised you the most about tonight's episode of True Blood?


Image via HBO/YouTube

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