'True Blood' Recap: Bill Is a Spineless Bloodsucker & Eric Is Da Man (VIDEO)

billOH NO HE DIDN'T!!! Bill Compton, sir, I am disgusted with you. Dis-gusted. You hear me? Look, I was already on Team Eric. Card-carrying member. But I never had a problem with Bill and his inflated sense of morality/Church Lady superior dance thing. (You know, his whole tortured human-loving vampire walking contradiction shtick.) Until now, that is.

Because tonight we learned, once and for all, that Bill does NOT have the courage of his convictions. OH NO HE DOESN'T!!! (And if you don't want to know why, stop reading here!!)

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Okay. Ready? So apparently all it takes to turn Bill "mainstreaming is the only way" Compton into a ruthless bloodsucking Sanguinista is a little hot vampire tail (Salome). Like, never mind that there's a vulnerable human being begging for her life because she has a 4-month-old baby at home. Never mind about that! Never mind that meaningful flashback you had about your own human child. Nope. Because Bill Compton is just as wishy-washy and spineless as I always suspected. Salome says drink, and what do you do? You DRINK!

Pa-thet-ic. Good thing Eric hasn't lost HIS head to this whole Lilith-worshipping cult madness. If anybody's gonna be able to save Sookie from this new Freddy Krueger-esque vampire phantom guy who killed her parents, it's Eric.

As for Hoyt almost killing Jessica and that ghost lady from Iraq possessing Lafayette and Alcide all bare-assed naked and Sam cuddling his duplicate self? Well, all you really need to remember or care about is the bare-assed Alcide part.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah. Vampires.

Do you think Bill will betray Sookie?


Image via HBO

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