Spice Girls Musical Is an Unwelcome Blast From the Past

Spice GirlsSo tell me what you want, what you really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna, (ha) I wanna (ha) I wanna (ha) I wanna (ha) I wanna really, really, really wanna ... Did you automatically mumble "zig-a-zig ah" just now? Of COURSE you did, because you were programmed to do so by the Spice Girls in 1996 when their earworm "Wannabe" became a smash hit and they sold approximately eleventy kajillion records worldwide and became, no shit, the best-selling female group of all time.

If you're cursing me out for getting that song stuck in your head yet again all these years later, you'd better brace yourself, because a fresh onslaught of Spice is on its way. All the Girls -- Scary, Baby, Sporty, Ginger, Posh, Sneezy, Dopey, and Blitzen --  made a public appearance today in order to promote Viva Forever ... the musical based on their songs.

Yes, I do believe that vibration you just felt was a full-body shudder from Andrew Lloyd Webber.

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Producers have been hastily clarifying that Viva Forever is not an actual biography of the band. Instead, it tells the the story of "female empowerment and friendship tested by fame" by focusing on four friends who enter a TV talent show.

So, totally and completely different then, because there are four chicks instead of five.

I have to say, the idea of having to endure the Spice Girls songs all over again isn't the most appealing thing in the world, but this musical may actually have some potential despite its soundtrack. For one thing, it was written by British comedian Jennifer Saunders, who you may know as the brilliant Absolutely Fabulous co-creator. Viva Forever has a top-pedigree producer, too: Judy Craymer, the woman behind the hugely popular ABBA musical Mamma Mia!

Viva Forever opens Nov 27 in previews at London's Piccadilly Theatre, and Melanie Chisholm/Sporty describes it as "better than we could have ever imagined." Perhaps more encouragingly, Melanie Brown/Scary adds that "they sing it better than us."

So many questions, really. What's up with this inexplicable '90s resurgence? At what point in Posh's life did she have a lemon permanently inserted into her mouth? What the hell does "zig-a-zig-ah" mean? Is it regular ironic or Alanis ironic that "Wannbe" beat out Alanis's "Ironic" in the 1997 Hot 100 Chart? Ponder, ponder.

What do you think of a Spice Girls musical? Would you go see it, if you had the chance?


Image via Flickr/tipsfortravellers

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