'True Blood' Recap: Look, a Naked Vampire! Look, Another Naked Vampire! (VIDEO)

pam true bloodOkay, so! Remember how 3 new couples were supposed to hook up for the first time on this week's episode of True Blood? Well, 3 new couples totally did the deed, all right ... but I only saw one of them coming. OMG ... wait. I totally didn't mean it like that! I mean I only expected one of the couples to get together, not that I only witnessed one of the couples ... y'know. Oh lord. Anyway.

So, as I was saying. One of the 3 couples was a no-brainer -- but the other 2? There's no way we could've known those love connections were gonna happen, because they involved completely new characters. Oh, and by the way? There were actually 4 new couples. Not 3!!! Wanna know who they were? SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT ...

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Couple #1? Eric and Pam! Eric and Pam!! Yeah, it was in flashback form but who cares? Mr. Northman's unclad derriere made an appearance, so hurray! Even better (almost) we got to see how and why Eric made Pam in the first place. Damn, that girl was sneaky! (Of course.)

Let me walk the world with you, Mr. Northman ... or watch me die. 

Classic. Pam.

Most disappointing sexy time award definitely goes to Jason and his random teacher he had in high school. (He ran into her at the grocery store, and the rest is history.)

The not at all disappointing sexy time award goes to ... it's a tie! Bill and Salome AND Eric and Salome. (Not all at the same time, sadly. Fingers crossed for next week!!)

Well-played, extremely hot new vampire and member of the Authority Salome. Well-played.

So, I'm pretty sure some other stuff happened tonight, too ... oh yeah, maybe Tara killed herself in a tanning bed. And ... Terry took off, and Alcide had a temper tantrum, and ... did I mention Eric Northman's unclad derriere?

Which True Blood couples do you hope to see hook up next week?

Image via HBO

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