Taylor Swift Runs Into Ex John Mayer & Goes About It All Wrong

File this under awkward: John Mayer just told the world how "humiliated" he was that ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift wrote a none-too-nice song about him called "Dear John." He also called it "cheap songwriting." Ouch. And now the two former-lovebirds reportedly ran right into each other at a Los Angeles hot spot. Isn't that always the way? You run smack into your ex at the very LAST moment you want to see him. Like when you have no makeup on and are out for a jog. Or you just spent half an hour crying about him and your face is all puffy. Or he just dissed you in the press. Harumph!

Anyway, Taylor was apparently so flabbergasted that she went into "panic mode," became visibly upset in front of the entire restaurant, and demanded a table far, far away from blabby-mouth JM. Oh, Taze. You are still so young. This is NOT how to handle a run-in with the ex. Lemme give you some pointers, gurl.

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Buy him champagne. Taylor, John may have been a total douche to you, but he WAS your "Dear John" muse. That song made you a lot of money. Send him a nice bottle of Dom Perignon with a note saying, "Thanks for the inspiration."

Backhanded compliment. You haven't seen your ex in a long time and here is your chance to get in a nice little dig. But you don't want to seem bitter or like you're not over him. So you say something fiendishly underhanded like, "Oh, hey, John! You moved to Montana, right? I'm totally diggin' that mountain man look. You remind me of the Unabomber!"

Pretend not to know him. As your eyes come into line with the ex, you can purposely glaze them over and look right through him as if you don't know him. But an even better approach is to do a double-take, look baffled, smile a little, and say, "Hey, um ... is it? ... we know each other ... right?"

Be ecstatic. They say that the best revenge is a life well lived. So when your ex suddenly enters your sphere, kick it up a notch. Start laughing! Start singing! Do a jig! Wave! Be all, "Joooohn! So gooooooood to see you!" If you are anywhere NEAR an attractive man, kiss him. Will your ex see through this? Maybe, but it will bug him anyway.

Act totally normal. This is a tough one, but you could act, like, totally ... completely ... 100 percent normal. Whatever emotion comes up, let it play out. Say something like, "Wow, this is a bit awkward, eh? Especially how you were just talking trash about me? Ahh, life ..." And then politely ask the maitre'd to change your table. All of this will throw your ex, for sure.

What other ways should you handle seeing an ex?

 

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