Hugh Hefner Can't Live Without Crystal Even Though He Doesn't Turn Her On

hugh hefnerWhen it comes to whatever is going on in the Playboy Mansion, the rules that apply in that bubble of hedonism do not seem to be the rules that the majority of us follow in love or relationships. However, that said, it seems that diehard octogenarian playboy Hugh Hefner has taken back his former fiancee, 26-year-old Crystal Harris, who had ditched him last year right before their planned nuptials. Hef announced the news on Twitter, saying, "Getting back together with Crystal Harris shouldn't be a big surprise, since I have a history of remaining close to former girlfriends." And Crystal tweeted that, yes, she was once again Hef's "#1 girl." Because, you see, in Hef-land, women are ranked numerically by importance and proximity to Hef's bedroom. Romantic!


Whether or not any of this is "real," or a publicity stunt, or an attempt to get Girls Next Door back on the air, it's a little embarrassing for both of them, no? And I don't just mean because of that pesky 66-year age difference. Age is just a number. Sometimes it's a really, really BIG and horribly pathetic and embarrassing number. But it's still just a number. No, I mean all of that stuff they said about each other after their split.

Crystal went on the Howard Stern radio show and sniped about Hef's lack of sexual stamina, saying he lasted "like two seconds." She then twisted the knife, adding:

Then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahhh.' I was over it. I just like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef -- sorry.

And Hef, despite his history of not badmouthing exes, told Entertainment Tonight:

Quite frankly, I don't know what I was thinking about. I think my natural state is single. I've tried marriage twice, not successfully. These were not the happiest times of my life.

Hef, for his part, must not mind being with a woman who has told the world that he doesn't turn her on. Hey, he's probably realistic about that. Maybe it's even what attacts him to Crystal. After all, there's a book called Why Men Love Bitches. And Crystal doesn't care what the heck Hef said about her as long as she again has the perks of being Hef's girlfriend, including living in a mansion, being in the spotlight, and having no expenses.

But, for the rest of regular folk, let this be a lesson. Best not to crack on the ex -- especially his sexual prowess or lack thereof -- if there's the remotest chance of a happy reunion.

Have you ever badmouthed an ex only to reunite?


Image via cliff1066™/ Flickr

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