Justin Bieber’s New Song Proves He Did Not Father That Baby

Remember that woman who claimed she got impregnanted by none other than Justin Bieber when she visited him backstage? We hadn't heard much about her lately, but then suddenly the Biebs Tweeted a video of Borat at her. And now he says he has written a song about the woman, Mariah Yeater, and it's on his new album, Believe.

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Says the Biebs:

There's a song about that girl that said she was gonna have my baby, Mariah Yeater. There are songs about things I'm going through. I wrote songs about different situations.

Something tells me this song isn't a love ballad. Probably something more along the lines of Michael Jackson’s "Billie Jean," methinks.

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When I first heard about Yeater’s claims, I thought, Hmmm. Maybe. It's crazy, but truth is stranger than fiction. Lots of celebrities (and regular people) have a self-destructive side. Still, it seemed unlikely given that Bieber is probably constantly surrounded by handlers who shoo away fans. Then I saw Yeater sticking to her story on television and my doubts about her claims grew. Let's face it, she is no Selena Gomez.

Still, you never know with people. Would anyone have thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger would father a child with his maid? People can be strange, I’m telling you.

Then, the whole thing seemed to suddenly blow over. Yeater’s lawyers dropped her claim, and Justin, who had threatened to sue Yeater, seemed to drop the entire thing as well. Being a suspicious sort, I thought, Hmmm. Pay off! I admit it bugged me that the whole thing just kind of … went away. Where was Bieber's outrage?

I guess we finally have it -- albeit in a Bieber sort of way. First, he Tweeted her a Borat video. Not exactly an eloquent and scathing riposte, but hey, it's something. And now there's an entire song dedicated to her (and not in a fond way, I imagine). All of this puts to rest any doubts I had that he actually might be the baby’s papa. Because that would be really, truly, certifiably nutsoid to write a song about the woman you deny even knowing when you’ve actually had a baby with her. Right?

Anyway, Justin, I’m sure my opinion was weighing heavily on you, so I just thought I'd let you know. You're in the clear. Whew!

Does Justin dedicating a song to someone who basically tried to scam him feel weird to you? Of all the people who get a song!


Image via ChrissyRose70/Flickr

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