'Game of Thrones' Recap: The Night Really Is Full of Terrors!

King JoffreyI can't believe we're almost halfway through the second season of Game of Thrones. I wish this show would last longer than just 10 episodes! There's so much to wrap up!

In this episode, "Garden of Bones," we get to check in on characters who weren't the main focus of last week's "What Is Dead May Never Die." Daenerys will be back, as well as the truly irritating King Joffrey, whose last edict has had ripping effects. We also can't forget about Stannis and the red sorceress Melisandre, taking on his younger, beloved brother Renly, who in turn has 100,000 at his command.

Sounds juicy, doesn't it? Let's delve into the fourth episode. We finally get a confrontation between the two brothers, a truly disgusting yet original form of torture, and the craziest birth scene I've ever seen! Do not read any further if you haven't watched; there are massive spoilers ahead.


I have to say, I'll give mad props to the editors of this show who are able to tie in so many storylines and keep them all thrilling and engaging. Robb Stark launches an invasion on Lannister's armies. Of course, Sansa has to pay for Robb's actions, as Joffrey publicly humiliates and beats her, quipping, "Leave her face. I like her pretty."

Thankfully, Tyrion steps in and puts an end to it. He wonders if getting Joffrey laid would make him chill out a bit, so he leaves Joffrey a nameday present -- a couple of whores. Of course this backfires Joffrey turns it into something completely sadistic, forcing one of the whores to torture (uh, were those antlers?) the other. Ugh, what a sick little punk! I can't wait for the day he is (hopefully!) killed off.

And in the East, after last week's absence, we catch up with Daenerys, as one of her scouts finds the city of Qarth. Her friend and guard Jorah tells her what he knows of the city: that every time the city shuts their gates, their garden of bones grows. Scary enough, but they have no choice, and they arrive in Qarth, "the greatest city there ever was or will be," after much haggling from the city guard. I still can't wait until the dragons make another appearance though -- showing them hidden in a crate just doesn't cut it!

Arya, on the other hand, is stuck in a seeming hell after being taken to Harrenhal. The guards there question one prisoner every day, and their form of torture is something I've never seen before: attaching a bucket with a rat inside and then burning the bucket -- gross!! The soldier who goes around picking victims to torture eventually chooses Gendry, but just in time, the lord of Harrenhal, Tywin Lannister, returns and brings back some civilization to the soldiers, immediately knows that Arya is a girl, thinks she's smart, and takes her to his castle.

Meanwhile, Arya's mom, Catelyn, trying to bring peace to two warring brothers, schools Lord Baelish, who makes his advances. He's refused, but then lies about having both of her daughters in the Lannisters' possession. He brings up a proposal: two daughters for Jamie Lannister. He also gives her the remains of Eddard Stark as a token of goodwill. She allows herself a couple seconds to grieve, then immediately turns badass again.

The two brothers, Renly and Stannis, finally get together to try to talk their ish out. Both remain stubborn as ever, and nothing gets accomplished. Sigh. Men.

But at the end came the part I was looking forward to seeing after reading A Clash of Kings. I long wondered how they were going to pull this one off! Melisandre and Ser Davos go through a cave in the cover of night to a passageway that would presumably lead them to Renly. Melisandre suddenly takes off her cloak and reveals she is super-preggo. Then she goes ahead and gives birth right then and there on the floor of the cave, watching whatever it is move around in her stomach, to a really gross black creature -- a shadow assassin -- presumably to go attack Renly. Holy. Crap. I'm glad they didn't hold anything back with that scene! Crazy stuff like that is what makes Game of Thrones so amazing. And now I'm gonna go take a cold shower and not sleep tonight.

What did you think of that crazy birth scene? Did you like this episode?


Image via HBO

Read More >