Lindsay Lohan Named in Alleged Hit and Run (No, Seriously) (VIDEO)

lindsay lohan redheadOh my god, Lindsay Lohan still has a valid driver's license? The voodoo-hexed starlet pulled a hit-and-run very early this morning while speeding away from a Hollywood club, because ... well, you know, she's Lindsay Lohan and what do you expect from the girl? See, it's not the hit-and-run thing that surprises me, it's that part about her being legally allowed to operate a moving vehicle.

Apparently it was "sometime after midnight" when Lohan was trying to leave Sayer's Club in her Porsche. Apparently there was a crowd of paparazzi outside. Apparently this made it difficult for Lohan to effectively navigate her luxury automobile. Apparently she ended up hitting the manager of the club next door with her car as she attempted to flee ... and apparently she drove away without checking to see if he was okay first.

Apparently Lindsay Lohan has learned nothing. Either that, or she's secretly trying to win some kind of award for "widest range of criminal offenses."

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Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. What's to be done? That SNL hosting gig didn't exonerate her in quite the way she'd hoped. Ditching the platinum "Blondie" locks and going back to her original redhead status was definitely a good move, but I guess changing your hair color isn't the same thing as changing your stripes.

And now she's got the hit-and-run thing to add to her rap sheet. This latest slip could even screw up her terms of probation -- if, that is, the guy whose leg she "grazed" with her Porsche files a complaint. (He said he was fine at first, but once he realized who was behind the wheel, his leg started to hurt. Hmmm.)

I really think the best thing for Lohan to do at this point is to go into some kind of celebrity witness protection program. Maybe join the Peace Corps. Live on the moon. Hell, I don't know -- but whatever she does, it should be well out of the public eye.

What do you think Lindsay Lohan's next step should be?


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