Robert Pattinson Is Only Texting Katy Perry Because He's an Awesome Friend

robert pattinson
Katy Perry is just a friend, people!
Okay, I'll admit my first reaction to the rumors of Robert Pattinson "texting and calling" Katy Perry "every day" wasn't pretty. (Imagine lots of muttering and cursing about "that blue-haired bimbo" and "who does she think she is" and "she's no Kristen Stewart, I can tell you that much.") But of course once I calmed down a bit and reviewed the "facts" (meaning the gossip nobody has confirmed or will confirm), I realized the very idea of RPattz ever cheating on KStew is ree-diculous. Absurd!

Pattinson is merely doing everything he can to be there for his good friend during this, her time of crisis. Checking in on his pal. Sweet guy that he is, would we really expect anything less?

I bet those RPattz/Katy Perry texts went a little something like this ...


Hey, Katy. How's my California gurl today? Not answering the phone when RB calls, are u? We know what happens when u answer the phone!

Hey Robz, nope I'm being a smart gurl and letting the lawyerz do the talkin. Know what I do when I get sad?

What's that?

Dye my hair a new color. It makes me feel better. BLUUUUUE!!!!!

You're such a nutter, Katy.

Whatevz, at least I didn't shave half my head!

That was for a film, you know.

Yeah yeah. How's KStew?

She's lovely as ever. My one true love. I love, love, love her.

Aww, that's the sweetest! You're the best completely platonic male friend ever.

Gotta run. Chin up! Don't talk to RB!

K! :)

What do you think Robert Pattinson is texting to Katy Perry?


Image via Splash

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