Paris Hilton's Huge Vegas Win Is Cruel Reminder That Life's Not Fair

paris hilton vegasThere are two things about this latest bit of entertainment news that I find really disconcerting. One is that Paris Hilton just turned 31 years old. Like, whoa. Where did that time go, right? It was hard to wrap my brain around the fact that my favorite talentless heiress is decidedly not-that-young anymore, but it was even more shocking to learn that the universe hates us. While Paris was celebrating said 31st birthday in Vegas, she won $30,000 playing blackjack.

Like a slap across the face with a cold, wet towel, the gods have reminded us that life's not fair. And ohmygod, does this lesson sting.


The news broke when Paris subtly tweeted about her time at the table:

Just won 30k playing blackjack at @WynnLasVegas! #Yes! #BirthdayGirlsLuck! I love gambling! :D"

It was at that exact moment when an angel lost its wings and millions of cries from hungry children were drowned out by Paris Hilton's shrieks of joy as she corralled the chips toward her across the felt tabletop.

But good for her. Even though she could probably use an extra 30 grand like I could use a hole in the head, I guess someone's gotta win. Or not win. That's how gambling goes.

It kind of reminds me of the time when Jennifer Lopez's mom won $2.4 million playing the slots in Atlantic City in 2004 ... looooong after J. Lo had made it huge. I don't know what kind of luck the Hiltons and the Lopezes have, but you have to wonder if they're somehow in with the man upstairs, because dang, all these two families do is rake in the dough. It's like the rest of us get rained on with water and they get rained on with cash. We break out umbrellas, they break out the buckets.

I suppose there's a lesson in here for everyone, though. Next time your kid asks for an Oreo and you say no, and they say that's not fair, remind them that a tall, slender, rich, and famous socialite won a boatload of money in Vegas so that yeah, they better get used to this life's unfair thing.

What do you think of Paris' gambling success?


Photo via casaroger/Flickr

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