Adele’s Break From Music Breaks Our Sad, Sad Hearts

adeleAs if her album 21 wasn't enough, Adele is breaking our hearts 10 times over with this latest bit of news she shared in next month's Vogue. The Grammy award winner says that she's going to take a break from music so that she can focus on her relationship and find some semblance of contentment. She wants her next record to be a happy one about love, which is obviously a clear departure from the soulful and brooding songs she's written that have our hearts, and our tear ducts, pulsing to the beat.

So how much time does Adele think she needs off in order to find bliss and produce a cheerful album? Four or five years. Everybody now: Noooooooooooooooooooo.


She explained:

I am f***ing off for four or five years. If I am constantly working, my relationships fail. So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record and be in love and be happy ... I won't come out with new music until it's better than 21.

There you have it, folks. Let's all liquidate whatever assets we have and pay to have our bodies frozen in some cryogenics lab then defrosted in 2017 when Adele's album is on store shelves. No purpose in going on "living" when new Adele music is years and years away.

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Inevitably, it'll be a great day when she puts out some new tunes, and I look forward to shaking off the icicles like a dog does water after a bath, popping in some headphones, and listening to her songs about the joys of being in love. If 21 is any indication, it's about time she felt what it's like to be in a caring and committed relationship -- her ex certainly caused her a lot of pain. Pain that resulted in one of the greatest albums ever produced, but pain nonetheless.

I hope she finds happiness sooner rather than later because, yikes, four to five years is a long time. And if she does so, someone please alert the lab in Florida where I'll be stored as a human Popsicle. They have permission to thaw me as soon as that record's ready. Hey, think she'll call it 27 or 28?

What do you think of Adele's four- to five-year break?


Photo via christopher macsurak/Flickr

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