Kate Middleton’s Vacation Ruins Everyone Else’s

Mustique, the island where Kate Middleton and her family are staying.
So, you know how Kate Middleton is on vacation -- sorry, holiday -- with her family in the exclusive Caribbean island of Mustique, right? Of course you do. What else would you be reading about during the day? The Republican debates? Peshaw. You're not fooling anybody. And, dude, it's cool, you're in low-brow company.

Anyway, apparently the Duchess' fun-in-the-sun getaway is a pain-in-the-ass for other rich people who are vacationing in Mustique the same time as the Middletons. While Kate, Pippa, et al. are holed up in their $23,000 a week mansion, other people on the island are on lockdown. Kind of like how other baby-havers were put on lockdown when Beyonce was giving birth. Damn you, celebrities, and your incapacitating ways.


Tourists and locals have reportedly been banned from using the rented golf carts, which are normally used to zip about the island. They're also being interrogated by security before being allowed to access the beach and other island hot spots. One person stated, "This isn’t exactly the way one expects to be treated when you pay very good money to visit the most exclusive island in the Caribbean." Amen. But, you know, as I sit here, typing at my desk in chilly New York, anybody who's visiting Mustique right now -- and complaining about it -- seems a little ... well, like they should shut it.

I get it, though. You want to get what you're paying for -- especially if what you're paying for costs an arm and a leg. Riled up Mustique vacationers should take comfort in the fact that Kate -- if she even knows any of this is going on -- probably feels uncomfortable, causing such a hassle. Like Dickie Arbiter, former press secretary to Queen Elizabeth, said, "A couple of years ago, don’t forget, the Middletons were just a regular family."

Personally, it would taint my vacation -- just a little bit -- if I knew that my mere presence was causing problems for other people. I wouldn't want that on my watch. I don't need that kind of guilt when I'm trying to relax.

Oh, who am I kidding? I probably wouldn't care. I probably wouldn't even know. I'd be too busy drinking whatever the native drink is, sunning my royal abdomen, and concocting plans for when I become Queen of England. Damn, it must be fun to be Kate Middleton. 

Do you think Kate Middleton cares that she's affecting other people's vacations? How unbelievably fantastic does her life sound?


Image via Jason Pratt/Flickr

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