Travis Barker's Nude Photos Will Shock and Awe You

I don't know about you, but I find it almost refreshing that today's nude celebrity photo scandal is of the male variety. Honestly, it was getting a little tiresome: nipple, nipple, buttcheek, vagina, nipple. Same old, same old. Time for a change of pace, Hollywood! It's about time we were all treated to a full-color image of Travis Barker's penis!

Yes indeed, three different nude photos of the Blink-182 drummer have gone viral, thanks to MediaTakeOut. TMZ is reporting that Barker is more than a little ticked off about the leak, since his lawyers have wasted no time in serving up a cease and desist letter, but . . . well, I've seen the photos (before breakfast, even! SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU?) and let's just say I'm not entirely sure he shouldn't be viewing this as a golden opportunity.

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I mean, maybe it's just the angle, but I'm inclined to give Mr. Barker the benefit of the doubt on these images: dude is, ah, endowed. Sure, it's embarrassing for the world to see you naked, especially when these images are reportedly over 5 years old and were intended for private use only, but this is the kind of PR event most men spend their lives hoping for: EVERYONE KNOWS YOU HAVE A GIANT UNIT.

Don't believe me? The images have quickly been disappearing off the web, but last I checked they were still available (WARNING WARNING EXTREMELY NSFW!) here.


Just consider the career possibilities that are now available to him! Porn, obviously, but also endorsement deals for male enhancement supplements and extra-large condoms! Come on, why should the Kardashians be the only celebrities to sell their image for top dollar?


I'm mostly kidding, of course, but in all honesty I can't feel too sorry for the guy. There's really only one surefire way for a celebrity to avoid this kind of unwanted attention, and that's by not taking naked photos with their cellphone. How hard is this, really? (Well, pretty hard, judging by Barker's photo. HEY-oh!)


Barker now joins an ever-growing list of celebrities whose private parts have ended up on the Internet via their cellphones, including Scarlett Johansson, Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera, Ke$ha, Vanessa Hudgens, Chris Brown, Rihanna, Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, Ashley Greene, and probably about a million more I can't think of right now.

Clearly the one cease and desist that really needs to happen is Hollywood's habit of X-rated self-portrait sessions, but if there's a silver lining to this latest scandal, it's that Barker probably won the size contest. By a head.

Why do you think celebrities are so obsessed with taking naked cellphone pics?


Image via Flickr/JesReeves

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