Kris Humphries & His Pathetic Hook-Up Isn't Worth Kim Kardashian's Time

kim kardashianKris Humphries must have picked up a thing or two from the Kardashians, because Kim's soon-to-be ex-husband is playing dirty now! The NBA's most disliked player is allegedly hooking up with Dollicia Bryan, the Kim K. lookalike with a taste for the star's sloppy seconds (Bryan also reportedly had a fling with Reggie Bush), not to mention siblings (Rob Kardashian was reportedly a Bryan victim, too). Are you kidding, Kris? Subtle, bro. Real subtle.

Of course Humphries' behavior is typical of the jilted lover: There's no more obvious way to get back at your ex than by dating her "sworn rival." But this in-your-face, adolescent bid for attention is rarely effective, and the Humphries/Bryan/Kardashian triangle won't be any different. Why should KK care who Humphries hooks up with?

She shouldn't care -- and if you're in a similar position, you shouldn't care either. Here's why:

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1. If your ex and your enemy go that much out of their way to hurt your feelings, it pretty much proves they're two people you want OUT of your life (the sooner, the better). If I was Kim, I wouldn't be jealous -- I'd be disgusted.

2. If the first person your ex hooks up with after your break-up looks like she could be your twin, he's obviously still hung up on you. Which makes him kind of pathetic: Can't have the real thing, so he'll settle for a watered-down version? Lame.

3. If there's a girl out there so obsessed with you that she makes it her mission in life to get with all your exes -- and your brother -- you must be ah-mazing. And you should probably get a restraining order, cause that's frankly kind of creepy.

4. If the aforementioned obsessed girl has a name that makes her sound like a deluded stripper with designs on becoming a human version of Barbie, well, she's already suffering enough. You don't even have to give her a second thought.

5. If your ex makes his insensitive hook-up choice as the rest of his life (career, etc.) crashes and burns, well, he's already suffering enough. You don't even have to give him a second thought.

Do you think Kim Kardashian should be upset by Kris Humphries' latest hook-up?


Image via Eva Rinaldi/Flickr

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