'American Idol' Taught David Archuleta How to Rock a Mormon Mission

david archuletaOh my HECK, American Idol star David Archuleta is going on a mission! In case you're not familiar with Mormon culture, many members in their early 20s go on a two-year proselytizing mission for the church. They basically live like monks: No booze, so sex (or even dating), no movies, no rock & roll, just God, 24/7. For two freakin' years.

Archie is answering a higher call. "It’s not because someone told me I was supposed to do it and not because I no longer want to do music anymore. It’s because it’s what I feel I need to do next in my life.” Sure thing, Archie. And good thing you did American Idol first, because that experience totally prepared you for a mission. How so? Read on to find out!

  1. You have to endure humiliation. You're walking up to strangers and bringing up the world's most awkward subject: Religion. "It's embarrassing!" one former Mormon missionary tells me. Well, Archie survived The Scorn of Simon Cowell, who called his performance of "We Can Work It Out" "a mess." Ouch.
  2. You have to win over the skeptics. Winning over Simon Cowell? No problem. Talking people into joining a religion that requires you to pay 10 percent of your income, believes Native Americans are actually descended from Israelites, and was founded by a young man who translated a golden book by staring at special rocks in a hat? Ooh, that's a hard sell.
  3. You have to be in good physical shape. Okay, you don't have to be an athlete to compete on American Idol, but it is demanding. It's not for the flabby, right? Okay, good, because a Mormon missionary spends a lot of time walking around and riding bicycles. Unless you get lucky and end up on a "car-based" mission in the suburbs.
  4. There's a dress code. On American Idol, that dress code is FABULOUS and GLITTER! On a Mormon mission, the dress code is -- well you know this already: White shirt, dress pants, black name tag. Think of it as men's Prada circa 1993.
  5. Winning! We all know American Idol is competitive. But did you know a Mormon mission could be competitive, too? Not officially, of course. But they loves the numbers in that church, oh yes they do. A mission can be a real pressure cooker. ALWAYS! BE! BAPTIZING!

Well Archie, I wish you a hearty good luck with that. We can't promise your career will still be waiting for you when you return. Two months in and it's going to be "David Archuleta who?!?" You know how we are. Hope you believe in miracles. Oh wait, YOU DO!

What do you think about David Archuleta going on a Mormon mission?


Image via nick step/Flickr

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