Charlie Sheen Defends Brooke Mueller in Stunningly Chivalrous Move

I don't know about you, but whenever I want to be romantically inspired by a celebrity couple, I look no further than Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. After all, who could forget that magical Christmas Eve in 2009 when Sheen allegedly held a knife to Mueller's neck and whispered those three little words every woman dreams of hearing: "I'll kill you."

While they've had what you might call a tumultuous relationship both before and after their divorce, it seems the onetime lovebirds still have feelings for each other. Not only did Sheen reportedly post the $11,000 bail for the mother of his twin sons after she was arrested last week, he seems to be doing his best to prove her innocence.

Oh, it just lifts my heart to know that chivalry still exists. When a man is willing to publicly insult his ex-wife in order to imply she's far more likely to be buying cocaine than selling it—my god, this is the stuff love songs are made from, people. *Wipes tear*

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Mueller's latest round of troubles started early last Saturday when she was accused of assaulting another woman in an Aspen music club. Cops found Mueller at another nearby club around midnight, where she was busted for assault in the third degree, a misdemeanor, and a felony count of possession of cocaine with intent to distribute.

It's that "intent to distribute" part that Sheen is calling bullshit on. He told his pals at TMZ,

With the child support I give her ... she's gonna deal drugs? Never gonna happen.

Oh, whew. Whatever enormous amount of coke she had was just for her personal use, then. Case closed!

Sheen reportedly gives Mueller more than $55,000 per month in support, so it does seem a little unlikely that she's been forced to reenact the street scenes from The Wire in order to get by—but whatever, the point here is that it's just so adorable that Sheen is sticking up for her! Aw, he even went on to say that the Aspen cops probably screwed up the whole arrest due to their incompetence:

The cops in Aspen are Keystone on their finest day ... these are the clowns that let [Ted] Bundy go.

Well, technically they also let Sheen go back in 2009, since all he got was 30 days in rehab as part of a plea deal that resulted in the two other charges being dropped, but yeah, I'm sure the whole nightclub incident with Brooke Mueller was one big misunderstanding. She probably just had a pile of baking soda in her purse! Who hasn't done that, right? You never know when you might need to whip up an emergency batch of ... muffins.

Really, the whole thing is just beyond romantic, and I hope this means the two of them are going to reconcile and maybe even remarry. I can't imagine a more stable, loving environment for their two young children to grow up in, can you?



Image via Flickr/Ash90291

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