Jesse James Loves Sandra Bullock Still, and It Shows

jesse jamesModern-day neanderthal Jesse James is at it again. The ex-husband of Sandra Bullock made an appearance on American Chopper: The Build-Off this week to remind people that he didn't fall off the face of the Earth, and that he still is just a regular dude who's into motorcycles and leather and whatnot. While he was on the show "keeping it real," he referred to Bullock, the woman he was married to, as "some Hollywood actress." At the start of the show, he said, "I just became like a big shot and married some Hollywood actress and didn’t talk to anybody anymore, so I feel bad.”

Oh my God, will you please, please, please do the world a favor and shut your stupid mouth, Jesse James? My brain cannot take it anymore. You are the worst! And the fact that you're still talking about Sandra shows how obviously in love with her you still are!

Advertisement

I never claimed to be president of the Sandra Bullock fan club while the two were married. I didn't not like her. I just ... didn't think of her all that much. But after she and Slickhair McTattoos got divorced, man, do I have respect for her. For starters, I don't know how she ever put up with Jesse as a husband. And after his cheating scandal was made public, she barely uttered a word about it. She just moved on with her life, whereas he literally has not stopped talking about Sandra since. He's obsessed.

That ridiculous, asinine, nausea-inducing relationship with Kat Von D? Yeah, I'm not really buying it. I'm starting to think that that was just a rebound for James, who continued to speak of Bullock during his relationship with Kat -- and compare the two on Howard Stern -- and who continues to speak of her after he and Kat broke up.

Why bring up Sandra's name this week? Why refer to her as "some Hollywood actress"? Because he hasn't gotten over her! James' last relationship was with a celebrity, also. Doesn't matter if she's covered in tattoos, she's still a celebrity. What makes him think that he was so "real" then? Why isn't he talking about her?

I just-- I can't. There really are few celebrities who get me as riled up as Jesse James. He's insufferable. And he's not pulling the wool over anybody's eyes by appearing on American Chopper. If he really wants to show the world how un-Hollywood he is, and how un-in love he is with Sandra, all he has to do is stop talking about her. It's really quite easy. Even for a neanderthal.

Do you like Jesse James?

 

Image via Splash

Read More >