'Glee' Recap: So You Thought the Gay Kids' First Time Was Daring? (VIDEO)

Darren Criss Cory MonteithThey called it "Hold On to Sixteen" like we were going to get a lot of kid stuff on the New Directions' third trip to sectionals. But Glee served up a whole lot of "oh no they didn't" instead. Didn't think they could top a gay couple's first time on national TV? Oh ye of little faith! The runner-up episode to next week's Christmas spectacular was all about raising the bar on letting good kids go bad.

Are the writers trying to make heads explode over at the Parents' Television Council? Let's run down the naughty that took us to a head to head between the New Directions and the Trouble Tones onstage, shall we?

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1. Gay Love Triangle -- That nasty Sebastian kid is back, and he's still got his eyes on Blaine. The way he sees it, Kurt's not good enough for a one-time Warbler, and he's declared war. So, we have not just two gay teens (who have had sex), but a third one working his wiles? Come on, we want to hear those pearls clanking at your throat as you clutch them ladies!

2. Teacher/Student Sexy Times -- OK, it's not exactly clear whether Puck ever had sex with teacher/adopted mother to his baby Shelby Corcoran. But when Quinn threatens to go to Principal Figgins with the news that they're dating in her latest attempt to get social services to label Shelby an unfit mother, the Trouble Tones director says she's ending it. Which means something worth reporting was going on. Paging Mary Kay Letourneau?

3. Teen Strippers -- Chord Overstreet's firing/not firing/maybe he's just sort of gone was finally cleared up. Sam is back -- at least for the moment -- and he's no longer homeless. However, he is helping his mom pay for his kid brother's shoes by moonlighting as a stripper who goes by the name White Chocolate. What, Trouty Mouth was taken?

4. Drinking Songs -- We've all had a little too much fun with a "Red Solo Cup" in our hand, but letting Sam sing Toby Keith's song by the same name took us back a little bit further than some of us would like:

You mean some teenagers actually, gulp, drink beer?

5. Selling Sex -- Who would have thought the tamest "no no" of all would be a bunch of teenagers gyrating onstage to wow the judges? With Trouty Mouth back, and his new, erm, experience as a performer, the New Directions put a little pizazz in their own performance to kick some girl butt. Think swiveling hips. 

When you stop being shocked (yeah right) by all that craziness, can we talk about the fantastic bits of this episode? Tina Cohen-Chang and Mike Chang finally got some real singing time! Mike's dad finally realized he's really good at this whole song and dance thing! We had back to back to back Jackson family covers (including my favorite MJ song of all time, "Man in the Mirror")! And Quinn has finally dropped her whole crazy "get baby Beth back" shtick. Looks like they're leaving 16 behind for good after all -- they're finally growing up on Glee.

What was your favorite song of this episode?

 

Image via Fox

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