Ashton Kutcher's Guilt Gift to Demi Moore Was Ridiculous AND Fuel-Efficient

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but personally, I think nothing says "forgive my various trespasses so I can avoid the bad publicity" like a high-end luxury hybrid. Obviously, Ashton Kutcher agrees with me, because it's rumored that he spent over $100,000 on a 2012 Lexus LS 600h L for Demi Moore's birthday on November 11.

And yet on November 17, she still announced her intentions to file for divorce. Could the woman BE more ungrateful? I mean, what's a little—okay, a lot of—cheating compared to one of the most lavish eco-friendly executive sedans on the planet? My god, it gets 22 miles per gallon! It has Shiatsu massage in the rear seats! Concert theater surround sound audio system! What more could Demi Moore possibly want from a marriage, aside from a commitment to vows and a husband who doesn't bang a 22-year-old party girl on their sixth wedding anniversary?

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Ashton's gift is remarkably thoughtful, because it sends so many messages at once. It says "I care about the environment." It says "I care about your safety." Most of all, it says "I care, deeply, about appearances."

I can't begin to understand why the Lexus didn't convince Demi that their marriage deserved a second chance, especially when you consider what it must have been like to behold the fully-loaded flagship vehicle he'd taken the time to pick out just for her. Can you imagine walking out of your enormous mansion to see this in the front driveway?



Why, it must have been almost as exciting as seeing this on every single newsstand in America for like a month straight:



Sure, Ashton was caught with his pants down with hot tub one-night-stand Sara Leal, and he almost certainly had sex with
22-year-old Brittney Jones back in July of 2010 too, and really, the odds are that he slipped his Two and a Half Inches to about 50 other girls as well, but come on. LUXURY HYBRID > YEARS OF INFIDELITY.

It's incredibly tragic that Ashton's last-ditch attempt to salvage his troubled marriage by throwing cash at it didn't work out, but I have to wonder: did Demi keep the ride? After all, as she herself said,

(...) there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.

Yes, but are you moving forward with nearly 70 percent fewer smog-forming emissions than the average new car, Demi? Hmmmmm?

What do you think, should Demi have forgiven Ashton for cheating once she clapped eyes on her shiny new Lexus?



Images via Flickr/David_Shankbone, Lexus, Us Weekly

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