Chelsea Handler Was Too Hot for Andre Balazs to Handle

chelsea handlerChelsea Handler, I want you to know that I completely understand why you broke it off with Andre Balazs. Full disclosure: I actually hung up on the man once. Granted, it was an accident and I didn't know who he was at the time, but from the way he said "hello," I could just tell he was an arrogant snob.

(Okay, so he wasn't really calling me personally. Balazs was calling my then-boss, who was more than a little bit irate when he realized that I hung up on the ultra-hip hotelier behind The Standard, The Mercer, and Chateau Marmont, to name a few of his successful ventures.)

Anyway. I'm still not surprised things didn't work out for Handler and Balazs as a couple, because they were never a good match to begin with. The signs were there from the start ...


First of all, Handler and Balazs come from completely different worlds. Balazs is the son of Hungarian academics: His father was a teacher at Harvard Medical School; his mother was a psychologist at a hospital in Boston.

Handler grew up in New Jersey as the daughter of a used car salesman.

Balazs is known for romancing such rich and famous women as Katie Ford, Uma Thurman, and Renee Zellweger.

Handler is known for romancing such rich and famous men as 50 Cent and Animal Planet's Dave Salmoni.

Balazs is known for creating an empire of quirky-chic hotels popular with the likes of Marc Jacobs and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Handler is known for creating a brand of best-selling comedy popular with anyone who appreciates vodka, one-night stands, and midgets.

Don't get me wrong: I'm 100 percent Team Chelsea. She's funny as hell, completely down-to-earth, gorgeous, and crass.

Frankly, I'm surprised Andre Balazs lasted a day.

Who do you think would make a good boyfriend for Chelsea Handler?


Image via Getty

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