Snooki's 'Confessions of a Guidette' Book Is Totally Deep

confessions of a guidette coverHold on to your pouf! Snooki's second book is here at last, and Confessions of a Guidette promises to be even better than the Jersey Shore starlet's debut literary effort, A Shore Thing. While her first book was a novel, Confessions ... is like a guide to life for Snooki fans. The Snooki Bible, if you will. Or maybe Chicken Soup for the Guidette's Soul.

Forget The Secret and all those other self-help books filled with lofty, unrealistic advice about finding your true purpose in life and achieving goals and getting over bad habits and blah, blah, blah.

Confessions of a Guidette doesn't waste time on such useless psycho-babble. No, Snooki's philosophy is much more practical (which makes it that much more profound, no?). Authentic self? Whaddya mean, like no fake eyelashes??

Yes, thanks to this book, you too can live the Jersey dream. Below, a few tips to get you started ...

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"A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if you're stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it."

So true, so true. You have to rock it. And is it just me, or is Snooki making a subtle reference to the pitfalls of materialism? Clever girl.

"LOVE my slippers. It's like wearing beds on your feet."

Of course. Because feet symbolize the plight of the working class, and beds represent the comfort we seek as weary souls trapped in this mortal coil.

"I like to wear so many accessories that people are confused."

So wise! To confuse one's enemy is a masterful technique when trying to defeat a skilled opponent. Most likely she's talking about mixing animal prints (cheetah and zebra, for example).

"Guidettes are born with attitude ... like, get out of our way, we don't care what you think. Unless you're a mirror."

A true guidette must not allow her inner peace to be disturbed by the opinions of others. When a guidette is seeking approval, she must look deep within herself.

Sadly, if you want to learn more, you'll have to buy a copy of the book for your very own.

Will you read Snooki's Confessions of a Guidette?

 

Image via Amazon

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