Michael Lohan Lives Up to Family Name With Latest Craziness

Another day, another member of the Lohan family getting thrown in jail. This time it was Lindsay's dad Michael Lohan, who was arrested in Tampa around 1:10 a.m. Tuesday morning after police responded to reports of a violent domestic dispute between Michael and his girlfriend Kate Major.

Sound familiar? Yeah, he was busted in March for beating her up, too. In fact, this fight apparently started because he was trying to convince her to drop a restraining order against him.

It gets worse, though. I haven't even told you about how he tried to fake a heart attack to escape jail, or the part where he threatened to kill his girlfriend if she didn't give him a blow job.


So the cops show up at Lohan's home where they hear his 28-year-old girlfriend screaming in the background. Lohan tries to convince the cops everything's okay, except it's so obviously NOT okay, being as how there's crap thrown all over the place and his girlfriend is sobbing and visibly bruised. She says he punched her, smashed her cellphone, grabbed her by the arm, bashed his own head into a doorway and warned her he'd blame it on her, and threatened to throw her from their fourth-floor balcony.

Off he goes to jail, but wait! Lohan's got a trick up his handcuffed sleeve, because he immediately starts complaining of chest pains. Police take him to a hospital, where as soon as they leave his bedside, Lohan checks himself out. He's like some sort of diabolical supervillain! Except not a very good one, because cops nab him on his way out of the hospital.

According to TMZ, the police report says reason the fight escalated was because 1) Major didn't want Lohan to ejaculate inside her but he did, 2) she may be pregnant from previous sexual encounters with him, and 3) she wouldn't give him oral sex.


Also WOW. I mean, where can you even start with this guy? To date, he's been arrested for insider trading, violating probation, assault, DUI, and domestic abuse—while doing mounds of coke, drinking himself stupid, and generally being the worst famewhoring father on the face of the planet. Is it any wonder Lindsay is such a mess, between Michael for a father and Dina for a mom?

Lohan is currently being held at the Hillsborough County Jail without bail, and if you ask me, they should just throw Lindsay in there too. Maybe add her mom for good measure, ban all the cameras, lock the doors, and let these people fester (and detox) for a few months until everyone's got scurvy. I'm not saying this would actually help anything, but at least the criminal justice system would get a break from processing Team Lohan arrests for a while. Plus, it's not like Lindsay's teeth can get much worse, am I right?

Are you surprised to hear about this latest from Michael Lohan?

Image via Splash News

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