Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore Divorce Rumors Just Keep Getting Crazier

Demi Moore Ashton Kutcher
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher
I'm getting really tired of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher trying to play me. Because it's working, people! And what's working is that I don't know what is up or down with their marriage -- or their alleged divorce -- anymore.

I'm pretty sure this is all part of their evil plan to keep us all guessing and running in circles. They're totally using their acting abilities to play it up in front of the paparazzi, and they're doing such a great job, I don't even know what they're playing up or playing down.

Are they pretending to be together? Pretending to be apart? Pretending to work it out? I DON'T KNOW, PEOPLE, and frankly, it's beginning to hurt my skull.

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First, we read about Ashton's wild night out and the latest scandal over his infidelity explodes. Next Demi seemingly low blows Ashton on Twitter while Ashton seemingly pretends everything is alright. Then they're not seen together in what seems like FOREVER. We all pause for love child allegations.

On Friday, we hear she's getting a divorce lawyer. Oh wait, no, she's showing up to Kabbalah services with Ashton. And then later in the weekend, they're spotted camping out with their Kabbalah instructor, supposedly trying to work on their marriage. First of all, who does that? Not A-listers like Demi and Ashton. Hey honey, let's go talk in the woods about that extracurricular screwing you've been doing. Not anyone! Come on! And let's say they did go to some sort of "couples' camping therapy" as part of some sort of weird healing Kabbalah ritual, then why'd they bring Ashton's brother along? They are making me crazy!

We are being led on a wild goose chase, my friends. They are playing us and the press like fiddles. I can't even speculate on what might be true or not true at this point, and it looks like we're not going to find out until Demi and Ashton are good and ready to let us know.

I could sure use a nice golf club swing to Ashton's windshield about now. The clarity would be so refreshing.

What do you think is really going on with Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?

 

Image via cliff1066/Flickr

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