'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Melissa's Music Possesses the Power of Healing

melissa gorgaWe began tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey with the gang still in Punta Cana. And it was exactly what one would expect. Teresa Giudice acting all sorts of cray-cray, twirling around in a gold lame swimsuit and sunglasses after an all-out brawl with her cousin, Kathy Wakile, while husband, Joe, offered support via grunts and swear words like only an evolved human could. Oh, and then we learned, thanks to the "Punta Princess Pageant," that Teresa, Melissa, and Kathy are dumb. Super dumb. Like, don't have a clue who the vice president is dumb.

And then Melissa strapped on a catwoman suit and unleashed "On Display" to the world. And hey, Kathy and Teresa made up. For now.


Let's start with Melissa. Tonight was the debut performance of her soon-to-be-hit single. And it was ... very Housewives-ish. Much like her predecessors, LuAnn de Lesseps and Kim Zolciak, Melissa's performance featured lots of smoke, lots of makeup, a couple of background dancers, and cleavage as far as the naked eye can see. Truth be told, it was damn near impossible to judge what her actual singing (while performing) was like because of all the quick cuts, compliments of Bravo's editing team, and what appeared to be some sort of lip-dub. I'm sure it was amazing, though. As amazing as LuAnn's and Kim's.

Then there was Kathy and Teresa's "make-up sesh." The two women briefly talked, and Teresa -- wait for it -- actually kind of sort of apologized. Yes, Teresa apparently does possess a shred -- a small shred -- of humanity. I still think she's predominantly a self-centered robot, though.

They both genuinely seemed to want to make amends -- perhaps that's what Melissa's music does: heals. Hopefully, it will last. At least until Melissa comes out with another single.

What did you think of tonight's episode? Who do you think is the craziest New Jersey housewife?


Image via Bravo

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