Robert Pattinson's Paparazzi Punch Is Unbelievable

Robert Pattinson may be known for being a little on the broody side, but who knew he was actually a foul-tempered man prone to violent outbursts? According to a photographer with X17, R-Patz inexplicably "snapped" when leaving an agency on Monday, clenching his fist and approaching the photographer with the intent to punch him! If a friend hadn't calmed him down, who knows what might have happened next—Pattinson might have used his unnatural vampire strength to break the man's spine before draining him of every last drop of his delicious human blood!

Oh wait, that couldn't have happened because Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Much like, if you ask me, the furious fist-waving Pattinson the photographer claimed to have encountered.

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I mean, let's think about this. How many paparazzo do you suppose Robert Pattinson has come in contact with over the years? Like a billion? A jillion? I'm sure he doesn't enjoy being photographed every single day of his life, but surely he has to be used to it by now—at least as used to it as you'd ever get, anyway. I somehow doubt that out of all the times he's been stalked by an annoying photographer, yesterday was the one day he finally lost his shit and started to throw a punch. He may be a broody guy, but he sure doesn't seem like a stupid guy, and getting in a physical altercation with a professional pap is a sure ticket to Litigation City, Population: You.

Besides, if X17's photographer really was nearly jumped by Pattinson, where are the photos to prove it? Any bottom-feeding paparazzo worth their camera equipment would have been snapping away like crazy if a celebrity was coming at them with raised fists, because those photos would be worth MAJOR BANK. The photos they did post seem to show an unsmiling Pattinson minding his own damn business, not even looking at the cameraman in most of the images. Yeah, one hand is closed, but since when is that a crime? If anything, his body language shows resigned irritation at having a lens shoved halfway up his ass—in other words, it's business as usual in the life of a wildly popular celebrity.

My favorite part about this claim is how the site goes on to theorize why Pattinson might be in such a "bad mood," and offers the possibility that he's frustrated because Kristen Stewart is off filming a movie in the UK. Awesome. Not only has he now been accused of attacking a photographer, he supposedly did so because he's full of PENT UP SEXUAL FRUSTRATION.

OMG HE REALLY IS EDWARD CULLEN. *faints from excitement*

Talk about a tabloid that's Twi-ying too hard, am I right? (See what I did there? HA HA HA ha ha oh god I'm sorry.) I don't know about you, but I'm chalking this one up to 100 percent rumor—although I wouldn't be too surprised if the next time R-Patz sees an X17 camera, he gives them a different sort of finger-based gesture.

Do you think Robert Pattinson really almost punched a pap, or do you think it's B.S.?


Image via Flickr/evarinaldiphotography

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