Michaele Salahi 'Kidnapping' Is Couple's Lamest Publicity Stunt Yet

Michaele Salahi and TareqDon't stop believing for one moment that anything Michaele and Tareq Salahi do is for any reason other than publicity. Today's insane kidnapping story from the famous White House crashers who starred in The Real Housewives of D.C. just reminds us how much these two really may need to be institutionalized.

When I first heard that Michaele Salahi had been kidnapped today, I laughed and said a big yeah right. But then I felt kind of bad about it, because if she really had been kidnapped and later turned up dead, I'd feel really awful. Turns out, I should have just laughed harder.

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The story goes that when she went out supposedly to get her hair done and didn't come back for six whole hours, Tareq was certain it was because someone had abducted her. Michaele even reportedly called him to tell him she was okay and going to her mother's house, but the fact that she called from a strange number and her mother couldn't confirm her story automatically led him to assume kidnapping. So he called the police ... and of course -- and most importantly -- informed the media.

His manager told CNN: "It is our belief as of last night Michaele Salahi may have been kidnapped or abducted and is being held under duress and forced to tell persons, including authorities, she is OK."

Turns out she was missing, but on purpose. She'd run into the open arms of her ex-boyfriend, Neal Schon, who is the guitarist for Journey. According to E!, she is actually in Memphis with him where the band was playing a gig. When the authorities tracked her down, she told them she was just fine, but "she did not want to be home right now." A spokesperson for the sheriff's office described the conversation:

She seemed calm, was engaged in conversation, and assured the deputy that she had left the residence with a good friend and was where she wanted to be. Mrs. Salahi advised that she did not want Mr. Salahi to know where she was.

I wouldn't blame her for wanting to run fast and far from Tareq. He's one of the skeeviest, creepiest, most cringe-inducing guys to hit reality television since Scott Disick, but puh-leeze. The whole thing reeks of one more big, ridiculous publicity stunt. I can just see them sitting there plotting: No one's paying attention to us, that dude from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills managed to get a lot of publicity for killing himself, what can we do without actually killing ourselves? I know ...

Maybe she's having an affair with Schon; maybe she's not. Maybe the Salahis are headed for splitsville; maybe they're not. I'm sure the whole thing was orchestrated to raise such questions ... and their names in headlines again. They are shameless.

I hope police see through their stupid scheme and fine both of their crazy asses for falsifying a report or something. If sheer stupidity and fame whoring were crimes, they'd be executed for sure.

Do you think Tareq ever really believed Michaele was kidnapped or was this just one big publicity stunt?


Image via Jordan Strauss/Getty

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