Courtney Stodden, 16, Says God Blessed Her With Creepy Old Husband

I can't think of a single thing about the marriage between 51-year-old Green Mile actor Doug Hutchison and 16-year-old Courtney Stodden that doesn't make me want to take a shower. A Silkwood shower. As if their "May-December" relationship isn't disturbing enough (I guess in this case "May" is a trashy-looking teenage girl and "December" is a lecherous pedophile), they're claiming that the real reason they're together is because of God.

The couple recently appeared on The Father Albert Show (yes, I guess that's a real thing) to whore themselves out on the only talk show that would take them publicly share their beautiful love that is strongly rooted in spirituality.

It makes perfect sense, really—who doesn't remember that timeless phrase from the Bible, "And yea, ye shall find a girl of 16 years, and ye shall desecrate her young flesh with your aged man-wand."


Of course, Stodden says she held on to her virginity until their classy Vegas wedding night, because she wanted to do right by God:

I was a virgin. I knew that if I kept that, I would really be blessed with a beautiful gift. And God did. He blessed me with my soulmate. So I'm really thankful for that.

Hutchison agrees that they were brought together by a higher power:

God connects us. When you meet that someone you love, there's something inside that's leading you towards that person.

They have both praised the divine nature of Stodden's holy vessel (giant boobies), with Hutchison claiming that "Courtney's plastic surgeon was God," and Stoddard adding, "Thank you, Jesus!"

Naturally, this Bible-worshipping couple is now in talks for a reality show, which Stoddard describes as "another beautiful blessing." Oh, all these wonderful details are just enough to make you want to stand up and start singing some songs of praise, aren't they? In fact, let's pick one of Courtney Stoddard's glorious YouTube performances to help us do so:

Amen, Courtney.

Image via YouTube

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