Hidden Jennifer Lopez Lyrics Tell Her Whole Divorce Story

The latest scuttlebutt on the Shocking Split™ between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony is that J.Lo may have dropped some musical hints that there was trouble in paradise. For one thing, she gave her new album a rather wistful-sounding title: Love? Ah, so much conveyed with one little question mark. I presume the title was shortened from the original, Is This Really Love? Or Did I Foolishly Marry a Controlling Ghoul as a Knee-Jerk Reaction to That Whole Ben Affleck Disaster?

One of the songs on the album is called "Starting Over," and she's pretty clear about what's on her mind. In fact, this whole breathless media analysis of whether or not J.Lo's talking about her own marriage in the song is sort of ridiculous, because, well, DUH. Take a look at some of the lyrics:


He’s all right / He’s all wrong / He’s a player / He’s a dog / He’s my friend / He’s my foe
I just can’t leave him / I can’t go / I got my reasons / I got my pride / I got these kids / We got these ties
Had this love / Had these dreams / Falling apart at the seams

While the song wasn't actually written by Lopez herself, I'm faaaaaaaaaairly sure it's not a crazy random happenstance, you know what I mean? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the other songs secretly include even more explicit lyrics, possibly when played backwards. Such as:

I see him in the shower / he looks like Steve Buscemi when he's nude

If Steve Buscemi were a zombie / and ate human flesh for food
Hey, hey husband!
(maraca solo) Put on some clothes, stop killing the mood!


We made babies together / and I love them so much / but okay
I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't have held out for different DNA
I'm just saying / I'm still Jenny from the block
and under-eye concealer for children costs a lot of rocks


He controls my clothes, he controls my hair
He tries to dominate, maybe it's his Latin flair
But when he dissed my ass as being too round
I told him he could talk when he gained fifty pounds
(chorus) Skel-e-tor! Skel-e-tor!

(You're wondering why I am not a superfamous musical producer, since I have all this incredible natural talent, right?)

Anyway, revealing lyrics or not, I can't say I'm remotely surprised that this couple didn't make it. It's too bad considering they have kids, but the dude just seems like a major creep. Plus, I'm sorry, I just can't trust a man who continually sports facial hair that looks like pubic moss.

Do you think J.Lo's "Starting Over" song really is about her relationship with Whatshisname?

Image via YouTube

Read More >