'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Melissa Does the Right Thing

real housewives of new jerseyTonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was all about Joe and Melissa Gorga's Christmas party. Their terribly lavish, disgustingly gaudy, grossly inappropriate (gorgeously drama-filled!) Christmas party. That was "all about the kids," of course.

First let's discuss the narcissistic decor (and the upwards of $50,000 bill) that made the Gorga extravaganza what it was: A Joe and Melissa-shaped ice sculpture on the lawn. "Gorga money" at the "casino." A freakin' step and repeat at the front of the house! How could there not be drama at this party? It was the g.d. theme!

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I must admit, Melissa was irritating me (per usual) during the beginning first three-quarters of the episode. Her spoiled brat attitude. Her wedding-like outfit (complete with tiara-like headpiece, see above). And her typical "cover-up" act. You know that thing she does where she acts one way the entire episode, then says a few sentences to try to convince us that she's another? Tonight it was her gross materialism coupled with phrases like "We're doing this for the kids," and "This is for Jesus's birthday." You're not fooling anyone, Melissa -- or any of you other Housewives! Family and religion are not your number one priorities, no matter how many times you say that they are! Shiny things are.

Then she -- and husband, Joe -- demonstrated some class I've never been privy to before. But before we discuss that -- you know what I'm talking about -- let's discuss "that thing Bravo does."

They always do it -- especially with RHONJ. They make the majority of the episode the build-up to the party and the last 10 minutes the actual party itself. Annoying. (Next week will be even more partying of course -- and holy balls, it looks good!) Since not much was revealed in last week's "Next time on ..." I just totally assumed that the drama that was previewed was between the Giudices and the Gorgas. How wrong was I!

Kim G., weirdo that she is, had the cojones to show up to the party with Monica Chacon -- Teresa's arch enemy. You know the lawyer's wife she went off on a few weeks back? P.S., Monica doesn't even know the Gorgas! Why the hell would she want to go to their party? This isn't high school. You don't just show up to lavish parties without knowing the person.

Anyway, Teresa's all upset that she's there, so she tells Melissa and Joe to make her leave. And they effing do! With class, mind you. I was totally expecting Melissa to be all, "I'm not kicking someone out of my house, Teresa." But she actually took the high road and did the right thing. It was the first time since their Bravo debut that I actually liked the two of them. We shall see how long this love affair lasts, though.

Oh, and side bar, Teresa was totally rude to Kathy. I'm by no means the president of the Kathy Wakile fan club, but why couldn't Teresa just say, "Thanks. Can we talk another time?" What was with that "Oh, now it's nice to see me?" crap? Yes, Kathy did Teresa dirty, but bad timing Teresa. Especially when you showed up late. As usual.

Despite my complete and total hatred for seeing anything Christmas and/or Hanukkah-related in the dead of summer, I was really into this ep. A teeny, tiny part of me almost even wanted to be at the party in a sparkly dress, with a sparkly drink, acting as the voice of reason. "Come on, girls, let's not do this. It's Christmas," I'd say. "Melissa, go enjoy yourself. I'll take care of Monica." But once the episode was over, and I snapped out of my Bravo trance, I had myself an ice-pop and was glad it was summer again. And besides, I have like, waaaay more important things to do than go to parties at multimillion-dollar mansions. Like write about them.

Were you impressed with Melissa's actions tonight? Did you think Teresa was out of line with Kathy? What do you think was going through Kim G.'s mind, bringing Monica to the party? Gah, so much to discuss!

 

Image via Bravo

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