'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: And So Begins Melissa Gorga's Singing Career

melissa gorga
Me? Sing? Naaaa ...
Before we get to the meat of this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, let's start with the potatoes. The nauseating, contrived, overly tanned, bedazzled potatoes. Much like Kim Zolciak, LuAnn de Lesseps, and Gretchen Rossi, Melissa Gorga wants to start a singing career. And she isn't going to wait for that s**t to happen "organically."

In the first two minutes, Melissa starts "casually" singing "Amazing Grace" while husband Joe listens on. After hearing half of a note, Joe stops in his tracks and is like, "Whoa. You really need to go for this while you're on reality TV." Melissa's all, "Who me? You think? Well, shucks."

I mean, every "housewife" eventually makes a foray into some bogus other job, but isn't this a little early for Melissa? At least wait 'til season two to start your Alexis Couture. A singing career by episode four? Easy there, killer.


And speaking of forays, Caroline Manzo is making hers, as well. And rightfully so -- the woman waited three whole seasons. The empty-nest-syndromed mama goes in for an interview at a radio station to get her own show. And apparently Bravo doesn't want to keep whether or not she got the job a surprise, because in next week's preview, we see her sitting in front of a microphone with a giant "On Air" sign behind her. I'm no Lois Lane, but I'm thinking the interview went okay.

Now for the meat ... Teresa Giudice and brother Joe made a little bit of progress, but Bravo is really milking their whole storyline. We're now on, what? The third episode of them trying to talk? First there was the episode where Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa talk about her and her brother talking (followed by the note). Then there was the episode where Joe decides he'll talk to her. Now they've officially decided to talk. In reality, this is probably something that took place in a day and a half. Here we are three weeks later, wondering what's going to happen next. Boo.

The progress was that Joe finally did call his sister -- though they didn't have their "talk" yet. That's next week. (Or is it?) He also went to his niece Gia's gymnastics meet -- albeit four hours late. It actually was kind of sad, seeing all the kids playing together then crying when they had to leave each other. They're the ones suffering because of their parents' hard-headedness. Melissa's daughter even threw in a "You're mean" to her mother. And you know what? She's kind of right.

So, maybe the meat of this episode was really the potatoes, and vice versa. 'Cause after all, we're still waiting for Joe and Teresa to talk, like a bunch of idiots. Despite the fact that their relationship is treated like the main storyline, if you think about -- and you should, it's all very Much Ado About Nothing. A reference I'm sure they've used to describe their interaction -- or lack thereof -- in the past.

Alas, be it because of Jacqueline's daughter Ashley acting like a brat while her parents are buying her a car, or simply Rich, Kathy Wakile's husband, the show is still entertaining, though. However, if Teresa and Joe Gorga don't have their talk next week, I'm going to be super pissed. But I definitely will watch for as long as Bravo decides to drag it out. Damn you, Andy Cohen. You are my crack.

What do you think of Melissa trying to launch a singing career this early into her Housewives tenure? Business-savvy or ballsy?


Image via Bravo

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