Lollapalooza 2011 Lineup Makes Me Rethink Music Festivals

For a multitude of reasons, I've never been tempted to try to attend a music festival. There's the travel, the expense, the hours of sitting through bands that suck in order to hear the ones that don't, and the people—my god, the PEOPLE. Massive crowds of sweaty unwashed people enjoying a variety of mind-altering substances known for removing one's ability to respect personal space.

(Yes, I realize I sound 87 years old. Shut up.)

Lollapalooza's 2011 lineup just may have changed my mind, though. I still hate the idea of crowds and lines for unspeakably filthy Porta-Potties and being exposed to neo-hippies with professionally-styled dreadlocks and weird festival names that sound like Australian slang for illegal sexual positions ("Coachella"? "Bonnaroo"?), but Lollapalooza's 20th anniversary event sounds absolutely amazing.

Ready for a road trip to Chi-Town? Here's what's playing on August 5-7 in Chicago’s Grant Park:


Headliners: Eminem, Foo Fighters, Coldplay, Muse, My Morning Jacket, Deadmau5

Also: Cee Lo Green, A Perfect Circle, Bright Eyes, The Cars, Big Audio Dynamite, Ween, Arctic Monkeys, Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley and Nas, Explosions in the Sky, Death From Above 1979, Deftones, Beirut, Flogging Molly, OK Go, The Kills, and Cold War Kids

Not only that, but: The Mountain Goats, Atmosphere, Titus Andronicus, Ratatat, Best Coast, Crystal Castles, White Lies, Lykke Li, Local Natives, Black Lips, Delta Spirit, Sleigh Bells, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Wye Oak, The Drums, Smith Westerns, The Naked and Famous, Phantogram, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., The Joy Formidable, Young the Giant, and Cults

But wait there's more: Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump, Ryan Bingham & The Dead Horses, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, Cage the Elephant, Rival Schools, The Chain Gang of 1974, Friendly Fires, Portugal. The Man, Manchester Orchestra, Two Door Cinema Club, Noah & The Whale, Lissie, Foster the People, Mayer Hawthorne & the County, Fences, City and Colour, and Gold Motel

Premiering this year: A 15,000-capacity "dance tent" with performances by Girl Talk, Kid Cudi, Pretty Lights, Skrillex, The Glitch Mob, Jay Electronica, Modeselektor, Daedulus, Feed Me, Busy P, and Joachim Garraud

You had me at Eminem, Muse, Flogging Molly, OK Go, Sleigh Bells, Phantogram, Ryan Bingham, Ratatat, and Girl Talk. And The Cars? Like, the '80s band? Aw, hell yes.

Now if only I had the spending cash to see all 130 bands, starting with $215 for a three-day pass. Come on, LollapaLOTTO!

Will you be attending Lollapalooza this year? What do you think of the lineup?

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