Lindsay Lohan Rehab Centers: WORST IDEA IN THE WORLD

Just when I thought nothing about Lindsay Lohan could possibly surprise me, here comes her mom Dina on the Today Show this morning blathering about how Lindsay is doing so great at Betty Ford, she's happy and relaxed, she's changing her life, and oh yeah, SHE WANTS TO START HER OWN REHAB CENTER.

Lindsay. Lohan. Rehab. Centers.

Let's just ... let that sink in a moment, shall we? Maybe if we really consider this from all angles, it'll start to make sense and we'll understand how—

Yeah, wow, it just doesn't get any less crazy, does it?

Dina told Matt Lauer:


[Lindsay] wants to start her own facilities, help other children. She's so public, we can only be positive and look to the future to help other families.

Right. Okay, here's the thing: It's not that it's a terrible notion for Lindsay Lohan to want to help other people get sober (I just had an involuntary eye twitch while typing that, by the way), it's that it's way, WAY too soon to propose such an idea. Because right now my vision of a Lindsay Lohan Rehab Facility includes a free eightball with a six-month membership, a trampoline for your inevitable relapse, and a lifetime of counseling for dealing with your godforsaken famewhoring parents.

Here's hoping Lindsay really is getting healthy at Betty Ford. And maybe, as long as we're betting on the underdog, one day her parents will actually turn down a media opportunity in favor of family privacy.

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