Bret Michaels, Give Me a Break

Okay, I was prepared to cut Bret Michaels some slack over his ridiculous Billboard cover, which appears to have been created by a CGI specialist with a hard-on for The Situation. He's had a rough 2010, after all, what with his emergency appendectomy, that subarachnoid hemorrhage, and the freaking hole in his heart.

However, I have my limits. It's not that he was airbrushed beyond all recognition, it's that he says he achieved this uber-ripped physique by—wait for it—not eating for a day.

Oh, and he also did "about 2,000 sit-ups."


Dude. Bret. Come on. I'm sure you look very decent under your clothes for being 47 years old, but I'm sorry, if that's your actual unaltered body in that photo, I will eat your bandanna. Which will be hard, since it's apparently surgically attached to your head. (By the way, have you looked into the long-term brain health effects of sporting a permanent do-rag? I'm just saying, maybe you should loosen that thing up.)

What did it take for Bret to agree to pose buck naked (save for a carefully placed cover line)? The reassurance that he'd be well-lit and that his genitalia wouldn't shrink due to chilly temperatures, of course. He told E! Online,

"If I'm walking out with it all f**king hanging out there for the world to see then, well, I need good lighting and a warm room."

Yeah. That and a Photoshop magician.

What do you think? Do you buy that this is Bret Michael's actual un-retouched bod?

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