Justin Bieber's Living the (Horny Teenage) Dream

Justin Bieber stopped by a restaurant at the West Edmonton Mall in Canada last Saturday, which probably wouldn't really be newsworthy except 1) he serenaded the entire establishment, presumably driving fans into a frenzy of excited urine-spraying, and 2) the restaurant was a Hooters.

So 16-year-old "Fetus With a Combover" Bieber was in a freaking Hooters, being fawned over by a wait staff of large-breasted women who fed him, according to reports, deep-fried pickles.

You've got to wonder just what kind of karmic lottery this kid has managed to win, you know?


What I enjoy about this story is the accompanying photo of Bieber surrounded by buxom Hooters girls, because it totally reminds me of when I worked at a Kinko's (many, many years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth) and a guy brought in a photo of his barely teenage son posed with a couple of Hooters waitresses and asked us to enlarge the image into a poster, at which point it became, ah, turgidly clear that the kid was really, really enjoying the ... chicken wings.

I mean, I'm not saying Justin Bieber is sporting a massive raging boner of his own in the Hooters photo, but ... well, he's 16 and flanked by six hot chicks with giant boobs. I'm guessing he's not just happy to see them, you know?

To Justin Bieber, I tip my hat to you, young sir. I may not understand your appeal, and god knows I can't listen to your music, but you're surely on top of your world right now. Enjoy the ride while it lasts, but for crying out loud, try not to be photographed in a strip club next.


Image via Justinbiebermusic.com

Read More >